Greetings, dear readers. Recently I suddenly saw on one of the forums a heartwarming story about a man who asked a girl from a dating site on a date. Well, everything is typical, nothing special – they agreed to sit in a cafe and go for a walk later. But as a result, exactly what many men fear happened:
A beautiful girl not only refused to go to a simple cafe, but dragged the man into an expensive restaurant, and even ordered a bunch of things there for a large sum. The man sank, but silently accepted his fate.
But this was not the end: suddenly the girl got a call from her girlfriend, who was nearby, and the man again agreed to invite her, too. The girlfriend ordered herself modestly, coffee and a sandwich, but nevertheless. Of course, as a true gentleman, he paid for everything, but he didn’t want to see that girl again.
And guess what, dear readers? I think he did the right thing. This girl was not interested in this man, she just wanted to fill her belly for free. He had to endure the humiliation, he had to sacrifice his interests, and anyone in his place would have refused to communicate any further.
So what should be done in such cases?
Here are few simple tips. I will tell you how I acted in my time and how I now teach my male clients, who are afraid that girls will get out of hand and demand too much, including money.
1. Plan the meeting yourself
If you have decided on a place to meet (like a square or subway) look for 4-5 cafes and restaurants of your choice to offer the girl. These should be places that suit you in terms of price and comfort.
But if she pulls you to a place that is expensive or you don’t like it, then STRONGLY DISCLAIM this offer. Don’t go where you don’t want to go, for that is the first step to humiliation.
If the girl insists or is offended, calmly and respectfully say: “I stick to the old view that the man decides where to go at the first meeting. I offer a choice of places…”.
If the girl still refuses and demands to listen to her, then you just say goodbye to her, because she doesn’t respect your values and doesn’t consider your opinion. This is not a good sign, no matter how pretty/smart she is. She is either too spoiled or used to bossing men around.
2. Determine what you are willing to pay for on a date
Decide for yourself the following things:
- Are you treating a woman or is everyone paying for themselves? It’s a good idea to discuss this right away so that your girlfriend is aware of it. This will show right away that you are in control and keeping an eye on what’s going on, but also that you care about your girlfriend;
- Determine how much you are willing to spend on a date. 50-100-300 dollars? Set the bar. Even if you like the girl a lot, program yourself that on the first date that will be enough and not a cent more. No complaints or suggestions should bother you.
I know many men will disagree with that last point. But I am firmly convinced by my years of experience that there are girls who are adequate and well-mannered, and there are inadequate and insolent. I’m certainly not going with the latter. If you just want to sleep with her, then perhaps all weapons are good. But for a serious relationship the key factor is honesty.
An honest and well-mannered girl will not order a lot of things on the first date. Why? Simply because that is how she was brought up. She will order a few dishes for herself from what she has, and will watch your reaction, because it’s only the first meeting and it’s also important for her to make a good impression.
It also happens that the girl seems well-mannered and you have already agreed on everything, but she suddenly begins to order a lot of food in a restaurant or the most expensive wine. This is a bad scenario: it is unlikely that you have something with her.
Here you need to calmly but firmly answer the waiter: “Can you leave us alone for a minute?” and then tell the girl: “I’m treating today, but this is my limit, let’s stop here”. If the girl is adequate, she’ll stop. But if she is a manipulative girl who is offended and wants to test you, just tell her that all future orders you will not pay. And tell the same thing to the waiter to split the bill. Most likely there will not be a continuation of this date, but this way you at least protect yourself and not spend all your money.
And in general, my advice to you: get in the habit of sometimes saying “no” to women. Don’t be afraid of it.
Don’t worship those novels and fairy tales about love in classical literature. These are completely different times and mores. Let all this nonsense about gentleman worshiping a lady remain in the 19th and 20th centuries. Now you don’t owe women anything unless you want to.
Today, for some reason many men avoid conflicts with women, and then feel humiliated, precisely because they are not ready at the most difficult moment to say “no” or “stop”. But in fact, that’s exactly what you should do. If you don’t want to take her to an expensive restaurant or order a new meal, just say: “Stop, I won’t do it anymore”.