Today many people think about finding the key to success. “You need to change your character traits and things will get better” – most often this is what “well-wishers” advise when they see an old acquaintance dissatisfied with his position at work or with the attitude of other people.
Many people consider changing their character in order to solve existing problems and eliminate possible conflicts in the future. Often, this happens in married couples who value family relationships. At work, at home and with friends, people regularly encounter conversations about character.
It is said that some people’s character helps them in life and work, and the opposite for others. With such attitudes, the question of how to change one’s character becomes, almost, the cornerstone on the way to happiness and success at work.
If there is a question, there must be a solution. Given that this is not an academic article, there will be no consideration of the theory of the psyche and the psychology of human behavior. There will only be a consideration of the practical aspect of how to change your character and what that means, essentially.
So, let’s begin…
Does a person’s character affect their success?
The first thing I want to tell you is that the right thing to do is to have people try to have a clear idea of the result they want to achieve or get before they begin any action. If people want to change character traits, they also want to achieve something or get something as a result of the change. However, there is a reasonable question arises: “What exactly to achieve or get and why is it need to change the character?”.
Consider the answer to the first part of the “reasonable” question through the motives of people’s behavior.
Changing oneself today is not difficult. You can get a tattoo or piercing, you can change the color or style of your clothes. People can and do this. As a result, people change the perception of those around them and change the way they view themselves. They gain access to social circles or “hangouts” they couldn’t get into before. They receive the promotion they have dreamed of and much more.
By changing the way they look, people get credit from those around them.
In other words, people begin to do something with themselves in order to get something new that they do not have. They seek some kind of benefit and not necessarily a material one. This benefit is that people want to be appreciated and needed, they want to become well off in every way.
Now consider the answer to the second part of the “reasonable” question through the model of human behavior.
Why do people go for it? Because not everything can be changed by appearance and manners. Sometimes people think seriously about how to change their character fundamentally in order to achieve new benefits.
Sometimes it takes much more effort to achieve a desired goal. If a person is highly motivated, he simply adjusts his character to the goals and means set.
However, this is a much riskier strategy. If a person is chased by fashion or carried away by the crowd, then his desired goal may not be what he really wanted. In this case, everything a person does is doomed to fail or give minimal results.
A sense of dissatisfaction arises in a person when he is not in his business, not in “his place” and is trying to reach a false goal. When a person strives for something that is not a need of his innate character, he does not succeed and suffers. This is because a false goal cannot be achieved.
I would also point out that a person’s character does not determine their success in life. One can be successful and happy with any character. The main thing to do is to do “your thing”. It is also important to find and communicate with people who accept a person for who he is.
To make it clearer what I am talking about, here is a simple example from the natural world:
An Antarctic penguin will not change its character for the sake of moving to the “fancy and cool” Canary Islands. Why not? Because that’s not his environment. He will simply die there without the frost and other penguins.
Thus, everyone should be in an environment of their own kind and be happy. Bringing the two parts of the answer to the “reasonable” question together we get:
People think to change their character in order to get something valuable in return. However, it is possible to get something new and valuable in a simpler way: if you stay in your natural environment and go to the goal that already corresponds to your character.
One last point. Many people believe that a change in character will necessarily lead to a better quality of life? Like “I’ll bring up my entrepreneurial spirit and get rich”. No, it doesn’t work that way. To develop that spirit, you have to become an entrepreneur with all the related problems: debt, mental and health risks, overwork, hyper-responsibility, sleepless nights etc. Do you really need it?
You don’t need to change who you are in order to improve your quality of life. It is enough for you to get rid of false goals, imitation of other people and find your own way of development.