Envy is a human vice that almost no one ever admits to. People may boast of gluttony, lust, laziness, or pride, but not of envy.
Not surprising at all, because a person who feels anger at people who are well off or rejoices in the suffering of their neighbors is unlikely to arouse anyone’s sympathy. On television and in the press every now and then they count the money in other people’s purses, be it a deputy’s, an actress or a model’s purse, it doesn’t matter.
The amounts are shocking, and this is where the envy mechanism kicks in, and the question arises: “Why do some people get everything and others get nothing?”. That is, most often envy is born from a heightened sense of injustice.
Both men and women are envious. If jealousy wakes up for a member of the opposite sex, it means that they envy the person of their own sex. Women envy the beauty of other ladies, men envy the wealth of the stronger half of mankind, and together they envy good luck, talent, knowledge and skills, luxury and youth.
But no one ever admits this envy to anyone. So what kind of envy is it? How do we learn to recognize it? And how do we learn not to be jealous? Let’s try to understand these difficult questions.
What is white envy?
It is envy without a desire to make a person worse, it is also called “envy in a kind way”.
At first glance, this feeling is close to admiration and may even be an engine for progress: “I want the same, so I will definitely get it”. In fact, at the heart of envy is always a comparison – others and me, which is not the case with admiration. It is possible to admire art, masters of painting, but we will never compare ourselves with them.
Comparing ourselves to anyone in our case is not good. By the way, I would like to quote Mandelstam: “Do not compare: he who lives is incomparable”. If you think someone is better than yourself, then you are worse, as a consequence: a sense of inferiority, anger and resentment.
White envy differs from simple desires in its specificity. If you just want a house by the sea – it is a desire. And if the house should be exactly the same as the neighbor’s on the playground, then most likely – you are jealous of your neighbor.
How to get rid of white envy?
If you clearly feel the presence of white envy in his life, it is necessary to urgently begin to act in the direction in which your opponent succeeded.
If envy spectacular appearance of a friend, get rid of jealousy will help a trip to a beauty salon, exercise or a new diet. You may not become as beautiful as she is, but once again emphasize their strengths, find a highlight of their appearance, therefore, improve their self-esteem. And feelings of envy of his girlfriend will gradually pass.
What is black envy?
It is envy with the desire to make the object of attention worse, to set him up, to spite him.
Strange as it may seem, but the most acute envy arises not to the most successful people (not to Bill Gates or Julia Roberts), but to the one whose position is not much better than your own. If someone with approximately your level of ability and knowledge is offered a high-paying job, the question immediately arises: “Why not me?”.
Perhaps you say: Better luck next time. Maybe you get mad at fate. Or maybe you’ll do everything in your power to make sure he doesn’t get the job. The last two options clearly show black envy.
The worst thing that black envy can turn into is gloating. People with low self-esteem tend to have this feeling: “I’m not the only loser!” Gloating is, if I may say so, the top level of envy.
How to get rid of black envy?
If suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of envy, to appeal to common sense is useless. At such a minute to get rid of feelings of envy will help loneliness.
It is necessary to be alone with yourself in a quiet, secluded place where you can calm down and relax. You should imagine something very pleasant that was happening in your life, concentrate on this thought, hold pleasant sensations in your head until you realize that there were many beautiful moments in your life.