The modern world is full of stress. And we can’t call such a life calm. A person, in fact, found himself between a rock and a hard place: he does not know how not to get annoyed, but at the same time it is not allowed to get annoyed. If you suppress irritation, you will have to put up with hypertension, atherosclerosis, obesity, coronary heart disease, heart attack, stroke. What to do?..
Rule 1: Do not force yourself, it’s bad for your health
If something needs to be done, it needs to be done, but to force yourself is pure folly! First of all, it is necessary to understand why it must be done and to whom it must be done.
For example, we should not get angry at our relatives. Why not? Because it will lead to a number of unfavorable consequences:
- firstly, they will get upset;
- secondly, they will be irritated themselves;
- thirdly, they will not hear us (although we will shout in our irritation);
- fourthly, this will not change anything.
Consequently, we really don’t need to be annoyed, we don’t need to be annoyed, because it’s pointless. In other words, our irritation does us no good, moreover, it is a loss! Therefore, it is we, and not anyone else, who needs not to be annoyed, who is interested in this.
So, if we have realized that we need something, then it is obvious that it is no longer a question of suppressing and restraining our own emotions, but of consciously, consciously developing new forms of behavior, new habits of behavior in the circumstances that have irritated us up to now.
Rule 2: Learn how to suppress annoyance
Our habits are a special thing. If I am used to getting annoyed in response to some actions or deeds of my loved ones, then I will get annoyed in these situations automatically. But in this case I do not belong to myself at all, and you must agree that this is very unpleasant! Thus, it turns out that I have no reason to force myself, I just need to see that my irritation is pointless, on the one hand, and harmful to myself, on the other.
Well, now we know everything we need to know before we decide to change our behavior in situations that traditionally irritate us. How do we do this?
- First, we know that we are annoyed by habit, and therefore we are annoyed not by ourselves but, strictly speaking, by our habit;
- Secondly, it is clear that irritation is a costly, pointless (i.e. ineffective), unpleasant and, most importantly, entails consequences that we do not need “under any sauce”.
And now, fascinated by this knowledge, we encounter a situation that usually causes us irritation. For example, the bus does not come at first, then it comes, but overcrowded, and therefore there is no way to enter it. Another example: our children did not do their homework on time, they scattered their things, and on top of that they gave some other ultimatum. A third example: there is a lot to do at work, and our dear employees decided to go out for an eight-hour smoke break. So what, shall we be annoyed? It’s so natural, so usual!
No, now we wait for the emotional storm, now we remember the main thing: our annoyance is pointless, it will cause fire on ourselves (that is, on us), and we, in fact, will lead to a hospital bed. This is an unequal exchange, unfair! It is here, when we realize it, that our desire to be annoyed falls away, and here a new variant of behavior is born, which, of course, will turn out to be much more effective and expedient.