5 types of people who should be excluded from life without regret

5 types of people who should be excluded from life without regret

Some people poison our lives, and we don’t even notice (or we notice, but we tolerate them for some reason). How to “clean up” the circle of acquaintances, and most importantly, where to get new, positive and interesting friends?

First, take a short test. Your standard of living and income is equal to the average level of your surroundings. So write down a list of at least 10 people you talk to most often, write down their income level, add up the amount and divide by 10. You’ll get your income 90% of the time!

You can do the same thing by writing out the values of your inner circle. If it’s mostly made up of party people, and you want marriage and kids badly, you’re going to have a hard time. If you dream to travel, and your environment endlessly sits in the office, then you probably will not go further than the vegetable garden.

How to determine which of your friends you can safely distance yourself from?

We take business tools and apply them to our everyday life:

  1. We have already done an audit of the environment, we have understood that our life is something average of our immediate environment in terms of income, values and lifestyle (standard of living);
  2. Define goals. Write down for yourself how, where and with whom you would like to live your ideal life;
  3. Compare how much the environment supports and helps you to achieve your dream life, and who blatantly hinders and pulls you in the other direction;
  4. Draw conclusions, and bravely change your surroundings!

Why does your environment determine the quality of your life? It’s simple, our environment is a bucket of crabs. Any one crab individually can easily get out of the bucket and save his life. But when there are several crabs in the bucket, they interfere with each other, dragging their relatives to the bottom. And all the crabs go together into someone else’s soup.

Types of people you can part with without a twinge of conscience

Who is dragging you down? Don’t be in a hurry to break things off with your beloved grandmother if her level of income doesn’t suit you! People should be judged not only on money, but also, above all, on how you feel around them. If the person you love inspires you to develop, supports your ideas, and helps you in even your weirdest endeavors, that’s a great person, take care of him or her.

Of course, all people are different and everyone has different life circumstances. But answer yourself honestly: do you need a friend who constantly borrows money from you and forgets to give it back, or who comes only to complain, cry, while letting off taunts in your address?

If after communicating with people you feel apathy, you want to complain endlessly, or you want to drink from boredom and despair – chase away such “friends”. The position of the victim is very contagious.

Who else needs to be purged from your life besides the eternal victims and whiners? The abusers, of course!

Stop communicating with abusers

The term abuser is used to describe a person who uses violent methods, it can be as psychological, physical or economic violence, to achieve his goal. Are there those in your environment who are always dumping their affairs on you, for example, always asking for a substitute at work? Or perpetual paycheck to paycheck borrowers who disappear with repayments? Or the bosses who devalue your abilities and demand work for pennies, telling you that you don’t deserve more? Well, physical abuse isn’t even up for discussion. Just pack your bags and block once and for all anyone who lays a hand on you.

Very often victims tolerate abusers under the pretext that they have nowhere else to go, that they don’t have the means and opportunity to do so. This is just an imaginary fear! There is always somewhere to go. In the 21st century, not one person has ever starved to death. Everything is in your hands, don’t be afraid to ask for help, everyone deserves to live in safety and not suffer humiliation.

But the most ideal option for everyone is their own independence. Build your life on your own. Nowadays, even mothers on maternity leave can have an income, combining child care, for example, with a remote job.

Start right now to build a safety cushion for yourself (not even for your family) by saving at least 10% of your income. This will not affect your quality of life in any way, but in a year you will be in control of your life. A safety cushion is better kept in a separate savings account, from which you will not impulsively withdraw money for new shoes, and about such a deposit no one should know.

Stop communicating with passive aggressors

Victims and abusers are followed into the “ban” forever by passive aggressors. This is the most dangerous category of pukes, who always masquerade as noble white mushrooms and poison your life to death.

How do you recognize passive aggression? The best indicator is your body, the reptilian brain never lies. Listen to how you feel after interacting with people. After some you feel expansion and pleasant warmth, after others you feel cramps, dizziness and spasms. If the sensations are repeated, it’s definitely not your person!

Passive aggression is always covered with compliments and wishes for the best, but in a beautiful wrapper is always hidden devaluation and humiliation. For example, a friend tells you in public, “Oh, how it suits you to be chubby,” “Do not worry, dumb luckier to marry”.

People who tolerate passive aggression sooner or later become depressed, experiencing their own insignificance, or explode and become openly aggressive, for which they receive censure from society and the fashionable label of “toxic” person.

Stop communicating with people who want to crawl into your soul

On the borderline with passive aggressors are people who violate your personal boundaries. In this category are often the people closest to us, our parents and relatives. “Don’t go out with that guy, he dresses really weird. If you hear this kind of thing in your address, your boundaries are compromised and need to be restored.

To do this, first of all, you need to make it clear in words where the borderline of your life is: “Thank you for worrying about me, I’m very pleased, but I can handle my own life, please don’t comment on this topic again, it’s closed”.

Here again we need to remind you about independence and autonomy, if you live after 18 years of age in your parents’ territory, it automatically gives them the imaginary right to pry into your life and make decisions for you. The best thing you can do is move out and be on your own. Friendship with your relatives is better at a distance and on holidays.

Missing the violation of boundaries, you accumulate resentment and anger, which sooner or later will lead to conflict. Do not deprive yourself of loved ones, they are an inexhaustible source of love and support, if time to build their boundaries.

Also, you can safely say goodbye to any non-reciprocal relationships. Do you have people around you who never write to you first, and you always go to contact? Honestly answer yourself the question, why are they in your life?

And where to get a new, positive environment?

What do you do when you realize you’ve grown out of your environment and where do you take new friends? Generous, loving, supportive, developing, with common interests and goals?

Trust your intuition. Look for new friends in the same places where you made friends as a child and teenager:

  • Recreational trips and travels, only instead of pioneer camp it could be a business yacht regatta or a tour;
  • Sports, dancing and other hobbies. That’s where you’ll find friends of interest. If you sit at home and are not into anything, new people won’t come to your house and you won’t be interesting to other people;
  • Education and training, even inexpensive marathons with a general chat room for participants, can be a source of great new acquaintances;
  • And the surest way to meet people is to become the person everyone wants to be friends with! Start living your awesome and unique life at 200%, share your inspiration with those around you, and there will always be a line of cool people just like you!

Life is arranged in such a way that people are drawn to their own kind! And if you are no longer satisfied with your environment as a result of this article, it is better to start by changing yourself.

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