“Move the ship”: A story about the laziest deed in the world

“Move the ship”: A story about the laziest deed in the world

Today I want to share with you a story that a former military friend of mine told me. This story happened when he was bear arms in a patrol ship.

It was a normal morning and I came to breakfast in the wardroom. After a couple of minutes, the OPS (commanding officer) came in and sat across from me, holding a bun and coffee. He had a sleepy and lethargic look, as if he were not a man but a living dead man.

It was shining mercilessly through the porthole, so a large circle of sunlight fell directly on his face. This circle made the officer start to come alive a little and squint, and I inwardly cringed, imagining what he was feeling now.

Then the “zombie” stopped chewing his bun, slowly picked up the phone, sleepily and unhurriedly said:

“Hey, it’s OPS. Move the patrol on 1-5-6… Yes, it must be done now. Great!”.

After that, he ended the conversation and continued chewing on his bun. Except that his face had changed, and he was squinting his eyes as if he were waiting for something.

And then I saw the unfortunate glare of light slowly move off his face and onto the wall. The officer’s face changed to a contented one, and he blinked lazily. And all the beauty of the situation descended on me:

When he gave the bridge an order to shift the ship’s course by a few degrees, this sly guy took the blinding sun from own face!

I was shocked. Just think about it:

This weirdo literally moved a million pounds of metal so that the sun’s rays wouldn’t interfere with his breakfast!

I was even afraid that the officer wouldn’t understand what he’d pulled off and rejoice in his ingenuity! But then I looked at him and realized my mistake. Between sips of coffee and chewing, the sloth glanced at me, and I saw a smirk play across his face.

End of story.


I think the moral of the story is clear. Green rookies don’t know all the tricks, so they think it’s a genius move, and the officer has probably done it many times before.

Laziness is the engine of progress. Of course, in this case it is not so obvious. However, if you happen to be in the army, it is useful to learn life experience from your older comrades, and take from them not only professional experience, but also their attitude towards life, as well as their funny habits.

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