I work as a family psychologist. And I want to share with the readers of the Optimist blog one interesting insight that I discovered in my practice a long time ago:
The shorter skirts, shorts, dresses a woman wears, the more infantile she is.
This happens for a simple reason: unconsciously and associatively we perceive it as youth, because really young girls (15-20) years walk exactly like that. And dressing like that a woman in her 40s or 50s just wants to seem younger in the eyes of other men.
I’m not saying that dressing in short skirts is good when you’re 20 and bad when you’re over 40 or 50, but it’s not good from a psychological point of view. If a elderly woman looks like a 20-year-old, it means two things:
1. She has an infantile character
That is, the woman, despite her age, feels much younger at heart, so she associates herself with teenagers. Her biological age does not correspond to her character, behavior, emotional reactions, habits.
Such a woman may be somewhere naive, somewhere too abrupt, her desires may be unstable and fickle. This is what you expect from young girls, not from wise adult women.
2. She wants to attract men first with her sexuality
That is, such a woman bets on attracting men with her body parts, not with her mind, temperament or emotions.
This tactic is usually chosen by ladies who cannot win men over with their experience and wisdom, who count only on the “big artillery” that are in her arsenal. This adds up to infantilism: emotional immaturity plus a lack of wisdom and experience, which men also like.
As a rule, such women have not been able to grow up normally, they often live with their parents, they are windy in their desires, they are nervous a lot. And yes, they are hard to deal with. Hence men’s accusations against such women:
- “You don’t know what you want”;
- “You always have different desires”;
- “It’s impossible to please you, everyone around you is to blame”;
- “Your mom is your authority more than me” etc.
That is, behavior and character traits very similar to how young girls behave. I’m sure there are ladies like that among your entourage too.
Remark: I’m talking about ordinary people now, not superstars, who maintain their image this way and are more modest in real life. They themselves may suffer from such a difference.
Why do you need to know all this? If you are a man and you recognize these signs in your woman, I suggest you think about it. Do you want to tie your life to such a woman? Yes, it may look attractive at first, but you may end up with a lot of problems.
If you are married and wonder why your wife doesn’t wear bright makeup and miniskirts on the street, I suggest you rejoice. It means that she is psychologically more mature. And an attractive woman can look attractive without miniskirts. For example, Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton are good examples. They are in the royal family now and they certainly don’t have to worry about youthful self-will.
And my colleague in female psychology agrees with this statement as well. Here’s what she says:
“The richer a woman’s inner world, the less she is fixated on wanting to attract attention to herself. Moreover, at a certain point she realizes that the attention of men to her person only in terms of her sexual attractiveness means only that they want to take advantage of her. And she rejects such men”.