4 tips on how to easily win the sympathy of others

4 tips on how to easily win the sympathy of others

To evoke sympathy and be able to please people are very important skills, because the human is a social creature and survives very poorly alone. It’s not even because he can’t cope, it’s just boring and sad. Robinson had Friday, Outcast had Wilson ball, Will Smith had Samantha the dog in extinct New York… We need companionship, that’s our nature.

Even if you’re an unsociable engineer who sits in your office, you need to go to the stores, make phone calls to your housing management company, talk to women, and communicate with the tech support of your bank or Internet service provider. And certainly if you’re a boss, being able to win the sympathy and respect of those around you is a must-have skill!

In this article I want to share four effective tips to help you do that.

1. Learn to make jokes about other people in a positive way

Short and quick jokes to praise someone in the crowd are an easy way to gain their trust. But the praise must be sincere and true, otherwise it will look pathetic and silly.

For example, if there’s a conversation about how Stephen King is such a cool writer and his books are exciting, and your acquaintance has also written a book, but is modest, you can say about him:

“King is certainly a great guy! But he lives far away and we can’t hang out with him. But we have our own King! And he’s close to us! Look at John! He wrote a book, there’s both debauchery and detective, and philosophy as King did. Okay, I’m lying, only debauchery. 🙂

It’s a cool trick and it hooks both the audience and the character of the joke. And it’s universal. If John is not a writer, but a blogger or a musician, then everything is done by analogy.

Here is another interesting trick:

“Did you know that British scientists found that blond males like attracts girls more than brunettes or redheads? Personally, for some reason I was reminded of Mark with blond hair, who had a new girlfriend almost every day, and I thought: “So that’s the secret! Shouldn’t I dye my hair blond, too?”. 🙂

This technique is guaranteed to make people around you laugh. And it’s universal, too: you can change the scientists on bloggers, as well as the theme of the joke to something more poignant and interesting to your audience. The main thing is to follow the principle of brevity and subtle humor. You don’t want to stretch a joke into a long monologue and your last phrase should be short and simple.

4 tips on how to easily win the sympathy of others

By the way, after that you can make a joke about the hero of the previous joke to the delight of the others (because you just praised him, he will not be upset):

“John, didn’t you think if you became blond, your novels would be more popular among women?”.

2. Touch people more often

Yes, we know it’s harder to do it now (because of the COVID pandemic, many people have become wary of touching). However, this does not negate the attractive power of touch.

Many people also think, for some reason, that touching is only appropriate in a romantic relationship. That’s bullshit! Any friendship is associated with a pat on the shoulder and a hug. Any acquaintance begins with a handshake. Look at politicians and presidents: these people are constantly “rubbing” up against each other at various meetings and gatherings. Because they know: it works!

Tactile contact brings people closer together and relieves tension. A simple pat on the shoulder increases the likelihood that the person will become your friend. And a hug is the best way to gain trust. In addition, studies say that hugging reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and evens out heart rate.

4 tips on how to easily win the sympathy of others

Of course, we’re not encouraging you to go around touching and hugging everyone. No, you need to do it wisely: with a ready person, at the right time and with the right words. Otherwise, this kind of paninterness can be perceived extremely negatively.

There are 3 simple techniques for touching correctly and without complaint:

  1. If you shake hands and hug one person, do the same with their friends. You don’t have to selectively touch specific people, or it will look suspicious. This is especially important for men. Well, imagine how silly a man looks who at a party tries to touch one woman constantly and a lot, and avoids all the others (unless they are already flirting of course). It’s important to learn how to touch everyone easily and in a friendly way that doesn’t have sexual overtones to it;
  2. Learn to sense where, how, and when it is appropriate to do so. The length and place of touching a person should depend on what kind of relationship you have with that person and how they respond to your tactile contact with them. So, for example, with friends you can hug and pat them on the shoulder or spine, but with strangers it is better to limit yourself to light and short touches on the safest parts of the body: elbows and shoulders. It is also important to observe the reaction: if the person tenses and withdraws – this is, of course, the “stop signal”;
  3. Don’t forget the purpose of touch – to win a person’s sympathy. The man or woman you are hugging or touching should smile and relax as a result of the touch. The person must show reciprocal sympathy. Otherwise, you shouldn’t pressured him and certainly don’t try to intensify the hug with a massage or pat him on the back harder.

3. Share funny and embarrassing stories about yourself

Show everyone that you have a sense of humor. If you can share funny stories about your flaws or silly mistakes, don’t be afraid to tell them. You’ll win either way:

  1. First, you don’t have to make up other people’s ridiculous stories to win an audience (since you have your own, real and unique);
  2. Second, personal stories are always received more warmly by an audience than stories about unknown characters;
  3. Thirdly, it will prove that you’re not afraid of jokes about yourself and you’re all right with self-esteem. You have easily survived these mistakes and ridiculous situations and do not suffer because of them, which shows you as a strong and confident person.

Especially advantageous this method works with women, because they see: a man easily survives the failures and, moreover, has already dealt with them. Such courage admires the weaker sex. What can not be said about the reverse situation (when a man is angry or ashamed of their past mistakes). In the eyes of women such men look pathetic and even cause sneers.

4 tips on how to easily win the sympathy of others

4. Praise others for collective merits

This is a great way to win the sympathy of your colleagues at work. But why it’s need to praise your colleagues and not yourself? I’ll tell you an example below.

Let’s imagine that you have worked well as a team on a difficult project at work and are sitting to discuss the results. At the same time in the discussion are present people who have not dealt with this project. They are interested, and they start asking questions. And this is where the magic appears. This is where the true faces of all participants in the project comes into play:

  • Egoists will praise themselves and constantly emphasize their merits in the project;
  • Careerists will praise their boss in every way and flatter him;
  • Collectivists, on the other hand, will praise the team for the quality work they have done together.

Who do you think will deserve more sympathy from others? The correct answer is the collectivists. And you, too, need to become one in your company. If you sincerely share the credit and praise other people for their part of the job, this will lead to two important things:

  1. First, people will trust you more (because they’ll see that you genuinely think they’re good and therefore want to keep working together);
  2. Second, in the long run, it will probably lead to friendships and the bonuses associated with them.

If being loyal only to your boss, it will probably lead you to some bonuses (more leeway, a raise in salary or even a promotion to his or her position). But flattery to the boss will alienate the team from you. And then it will be much harder to win the sympathy of these people. Therefore, it seems to us that the correct model of behavior is precisely collectivism.


No more posts
No more posts