9 slacker rules. How to imitate a big of activity at work?

9 slacker rules. How to imitate a big of activity at work?

On our blog, we often write about career building, motivation, efficiency, productivity, and other things that are probably already fed up with it for slackers, lazy persons or people who doesn’t like to work. Yes, there are such people, and I’m sure they exist in every firm. If you are one of those people, well, this is the guide for you.

If you are not, we encourage you to read this guide as well. Why? Because first of all, it’s ridiculous. And second, you can probably recognize these traits in some of your colleagues. 🙂

So, what does it take to imitate a big of activity at work? How do slackers manage to keep their jobs for years? Here are nine simple rules.

1. Never walk around without a documents in your hand

The people with documents in their hands look like the most busy and most stressed-out employees. On the contrary, the people with empty hands look like they are going to a coffee shop or hanging around idle.

Also, be sure to take your documents home overnight, thus giving the impression that you are working more than you actually are.

2. Use the computer to imitate busyness

When you sit down at your new computer and programs (which you are too lazy to understand), begin to harp on how everything there is incomprehensible. That in your previous job there was different software. And that you need more time to get into everything and figure it out.

After that you can just sit and do nothing, just look at the monitor with a smart look. It looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can do anything, even remotely unrelated to your work activities. 🙂

If you get caught by your boss (and he will surely catch you) your best defense is to claim that you are learning new software/manuals, and thus save the money that would have had to be spent on your training.

3. Make a mess on your desk

The order on the desk looks like we don’t have anything to do. In the eyes of the boss, this is not a good idea, because he’ll start to think we’re not working hard enough.

If you like to slack off at work, the solution is simple: build piles of papers at your desk. Let it be anything: folders, files, piles of old papers and invoices.

Believe me: no one will notice the catch. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as the current one, only the volume matters. So don’t be shy: pile up the mess on the table so that the papers will literally go over the edge of the table. If someone is due to visit you, bury the document you need in the middle of the pile, and strenuously look for it only during the visitor’s visit. 🙂

4. Put an answering machine

Never answer the phone if you have an answering machine. People call you to blow your mind with their problems, to ask for consultation, buy or sell something, and colleagues just want to dump extra work on you.

So put all the calls on your work phone through an answering machine. If someone leaves a message for you and it threatens your job, answer it during your lunch break (when you know for sure the person isn’t there). This creates an impression of you as a very responsible and conscientious person.

5. Look tired, nervous and irritable

It’s simple: just sleep 3-4 hours a day, and you’re guaranteed to get circles under your eyes, facial puffiness, emaciated appearance. In addition, frown your eyebrows in office and stop watching your hair and clothes: your shirt should be slightly wrinkled, your tie is tied a little sloppy, and your hair should be slightly ruffled.

This way you will perfectly resemble the “employee of the month”, who overdid the plan at the cost of his health. This means that when the boss sees you (and realizes how hard you’re working) he’ll think: “Well, this one certainly did a good job”.

6. Leave work later than most

Always leave work late, especially if the boss is still there. Send important messages to your corporate email out of hours (9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays. That way everyone will think you’re really working hard.

What’s a slacker to do in the office in the evening? The solution is simple: you can hang out in social networks, or read magazines and books, for which there is always a lack of time at home.

Never leave workplace at 6pm (or according to your schedule). Always stay late at the office. If you’re going to leave early, be sure to make sure your way to the exit is bypassing your boss’ door.

7. Sigh loudly when new tasks are assigned to you

I suppose you’ve all encountered the fact that there are people who sigh loudly all the time when they are assigned something to do. This sigh is of course a fake, a well-established skill that tells everyone in the office the following: “I’m very overwhelmed. I have a million tasks. Why me? Okay, I’ll do it”.

8. Start making a flashy presentation or site of the firm that you weren’t asked to do

This is a creative and pretty good way to keep your job when your bosses have already guessed that you’re a slacker. There are a lot of programs on the Web for easy developing websites and corporate presentations, and most of them are so simple that even a child can master them.

When the site or presentation is be ready, make another one and another one. Run out of ideas? Start making a presentation of the price list, specific items, key employees. You could have enough ideas for months of work!

This way is better than simply imitating work at the computer (after all, you’re doing this things for the good of the firm!). And when it gets hot, you can show your boss that you studied the company this way. And with the help of these sites and presentations, the company will get more customers. If he believes, then you can continue to suffer from this nonsense and further. 🙂

9. Tell bosses that you need the trainings

This is another effective way to prolong your pointless sitting in the office of an unloved job. When bosses start criticizing you for poor performance, just tell them: “I get it, but I just didn’t know. But I really want to learn. I promise if I take the training, I will do better”.

You won’t get an immediate answer to this question, but (as a rule) they won’t fire you right away either (because they need time to think about it). At this time you have to really show that you want to learn, read a couple of serious magazines and books on the specialty and learn new complex concepts and terms. And try now to talk only about what you read with your bosses. And they’ll think: “This guy’s really making progress. Maybe he’s not so bad?”.

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