6 secret techniques that will prevent you from being controlled and manipulated

6 secret techniques that will prevent you from being controlled and manipulated

How often do we fall for other people’s manipulations without realizing it? I think everyone understands that this happens, especially at work.

Today we’re going to tell you six secret techniques, which you can use in conversation with such people and that will help you reduce your dependence on others. Use and apply only for your own good!

1. “Who must to do something, must do it oneself”

How often do you hear the words “should” and “must” from other people in your life? I think it’s pretty common. It’s all about cultivating a sense of duty, often on the part of parents toward children. But it also happens that just your circle of friends and acquaintances also think they know better how to live your life. In reality, it should be treated much more simply:

“My expectations are my problems. Their expectations are their problems”.

If someone tells you what you should do because you “should” or because you “must”, suggest that they do it themselves (because it’s probably their job to do it in the first place).

2. “I will try but I do not promise anything”

Manipulators are very crafty and cunning people. They usually try in every way to get their victim to agree to do something. So watch your tongue and what you say to people.

Unconsidered promises will hang on you a heavy energy load until you do not fulfill them or refuse to fulfill them. Don’t create extra strings to pull, filter your speech, and watch the promises you make.

Simple mindfulness will save you a lot of potential problems.

3. “If you were not asked, then I ask you not to meddle”

Manipulators very often overhear and interfere in other people’s conversations. And then discreetly offer their “help”. Refuse it! Do not have any illusions. Such people will use their help to you as leverage to pressure you later (“Do you remember, I helped you?” or “You owe me!”).

The same rule works the other way around: when you meddle in someone else’s affairs in good faith. You don’t need to do that. If you have not been asked for advice, the reaction of your interlocutors can be unpredictable and even negative (up to and including retaliatory aggression).

The other extreme is when people get so used to the fact that you will always help, even when you have not asked for it, that they expect this help from you by default, and when suddenly for some reason they do not receive it, they are very surprised and even demand it sometimes. So do not help where you are not asked for it.

4. “Yes, I have changed. But I like myself better this way now”

It is not uncommon to hear people say: “I liked you better before” or “You used to look better”. This manipulative technique is most common among teenagers and women, although it also occurs in men’s groups.

The reaction to this verbal “prick” should be absolutely calm: “Yes, I have changed. But I like myself better this way now”.

The essence of this defensive technique is that for you other people’s opinions are important, but your own opinion is even more important! The fact that people criticize your appearance does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It means that the person perceives you differently than before. And if people do not want to perceive your appearance, it’s their problem, not yours.

5. “Why don’t you mind your own business and I’ll mind mine?”

In addition to the fact that manipulators often want to impose their business and problems on us, they very often distract us from our own affairs. So the polite phrase “Don’t bother me, I’m busy” or the more sharper: “Why don’t you mind your own business and I’ll mind mine?” should be in your verbal arsenal.

If you get distracted from your tasks, you will lose concentration. And, as a result, you won’t do much of what you started. The another magic phrase “Don’t disturb me, please”, spoken calmly and without negative emotion, will allow you to mark your boundaries and get on with your work quietly.

6. “I’m not interested in that”

Persons-manipulators very often use the “advise me how” tactic. This can take the form of the following:

  • They complain about some problem in order to get your sympathy and cooperation, and supposedly wait for your advice;
  • They discuss with you gossip, unflattering rumors about someone and look questioningly at what you have to say about it;
  • They tell you that you are the smartest person (although they don’t really think so) and therefore your opinion is extremely important to them.

Don’t fall for this trick. Even if you really think what you say. Because in the future manipulator using your own words and phrases at the first opportunity will make you look bad.

Do not waste your energy on bystanders problems. Instead of discussing and judging other people, it’s better to spend it on yourself and your real friends. And with this case perfectly cope with another magic phrase: “I’m not interested in that”.

That will be all, dear friends. I hope that my advices will be useful to you.


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