Signs of toxic parents

Signs of toxic parents

There are no parents who do not love their children. It’s impossible to argue with that. But… There’s always hidden a some “but”… Sometimes it’s as if mom and dad are doing everything on purpose to make life difficult for the child.

In this article we will talk about when a parent’s actions seem to they as a manifestation of care and love, but are actually harmful to their children. We will talk about the signs of toxic parents.

Love in spite of fear

It is not uncommon for toxic parents to employ strange parenting methods. Including the famous “stick” and “carrot” method.

Constant care and affection is instantly replaced by severity, the mother and father purposefully intimidate the child. Children, even before they come home, can already sense the mood of the mother and father, understand what awaits them: a debriefing or love and affection. Such children constantly “blow up their brains”, do not give them any peace, which causes severe fatigue and discomfort.

You can be better. Like her or him

Parents who can be described as toxic often tend to set the bar too high for the child to overcome. Victories are overlooked and ignored, and defeats provoke humiliation.

Personally, my mother constantly compared me to my best friend, saying that she was better, would be able to achieve a lot in life, and I was unbearably offended to hear it…

Tell me everything, and then I will decide what to do

Toxic father and mother are able to bring children out in frank conversation whenever and wherever. Subsequently, the most intimate is used against them. Parents can tell other people about their son’s or daughter’s secrets, begin to rebuke and humiliate their children.

Intimidations

Parents know very well that if the child has low self-esteem and self-confidence, he or she will dance to them and do all the wishes of his mother and father. Therefore, such families often use the method of intimidating their children:

  • If you don’t do well in school, you’ll grow up to be nothing;
  • If you don’t take good care of yourself, no boy/girl will look at you;
  • If you don’t do this, you will be a loser.

Most often, attention is paid to the appearance, because it is the easiest. If there are no defects in the child’s appearance, you can always say that the child is too fat or thin, unattractive.

Demanding excellent grades without faith in the child

Toxic parents always demand a full report of their grades, but never help them achieve their desired goal. They impose their opinions on the child, tell the child what to become, demand total submission, while at the same time humiliating the child’s dignity. These people will never help to achieve what they want, will mock the futile efforts of the child.

You have to listen to me, and only me

In a toxic family, the mother and father think their behavior is the only right thing to do. Their opinion must be taken as the final authority and nothing else. All actions are strictly controlled. Well, if something went wrong, there is no result, then of course, only the child is to blame.

Go away! No, stay…

If an adult child intends to live independently, toxic parents consider him as “disenfranchised kitten”. The kid must always be in control. When a child grows into a teenager he is often rebuked for living at their expense, taking up space in the apartment, but not letting go of him. This applies even to quite independent and well-off individuals.

Of course, the situation in my family is not so deplorable, but my parents still try to control me completely. It is worth noting that I have a family of my own for a long time, and for more than 10 years I have been living separately, raising two daughters, but it does not matter to them! In general, the upbringing of toxic parents affects further life, it is not so easy to get rid of it… No matter how sad it is.


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