Wife’s antics. What would happen if the husband stopped putting up with them?

Wife’s antics. What would happen if the husband stopped putting up with them?

Today I want to share with you a story that often happens in marriages. This story is about a husband who is willing to do much to keep his family together, but in the end there is a limit to all patience.

Robert was 58 and fully supported his wife Miriam, who was a wealthy man with two businesses and passive income from investments. They had met at one of his businesses more than 18 years ago. Robert got Miriam out of her work routine, bought a house, and she gave him a boy and a girl: they were now 17 and 14. It seemed that they knew no trouble and lived beautifully.

But still, there was one serious problem in this family. Miriam was 15 years younger than Robert. And that difference was fatal to their family happiness.

Problems in the family began after a couple of years of life together. At first Miriam complained to Robert that she was bored and had nothing to do. He tried to solve the problem by paying for educational courses for her. There were many courses: design, astrology, foreign language. Then Miriam started asking for help to improve her figure and her husband bought her a fitness membership.

But Miriam was still bored with Robert. They were silent for long periods of time, talking little. It was as if they were from different planets.

In fact, the problem was not the difference in planets, but the difference in generations and, accordingly, in interests. The age difference between them was too great. It would seem that age had nothing to do with it. However, Robert was not young. As the years passed, he was turning from an energetic man to an old man. It seemed to Miriam that he had become too old for her, he lacked energy, emotion, tenderness, while she was in the prime of her life! She was a woman, she wanted joy and fun.

Robert tried to remedy the situation. He began to spend more time with his wife. They began to walk together more often, go to exhibitions, theaters. But it seemed to his wife that this was not enough. She began to insist that her husband paid her compliments, wooed her more, and constantly pleased her with his attention. Robert began to try harder, he began to say more compliments, give her more flowers and gifts, but his wife was not enough.

Nevertheless, she accepted his gifts and attention. She also loved his money. She often begged for money for various “wants”: for beauty salons, spas, trips to other cities for excursions, for clothes, for vacations abroad. Robert did not mind. Because he loved his wife.

As time passed, Miriam started asking for more and more money, and disappearing from home more and more often. And this began to alarm Robert.

Then one day he decided to look at her phone (which she had accidentally left on the couch). It wasn’t hard, since he had bought it for her himself and knew the unlock code. What Robert saw dumbfounded him. When he opened the messenger, he saw a huge correspondence between his wife and another man, all ablaze with emotion and flirtation. The wife wrote that she had a hard time with her husband, that he was a callous and closed person, but that her new friend was the exact opposite.

Robert was shocked and crushed. He even cried. How could it be? He had done everything for her! They had been together for years, built a family, had children, and what had it all led to? His wife had traded him in for some adventurer with no money, no own home and no wisdom in life!

Then there was an unpleasant conversation, a quarrel, shouting and tears again. As a result, Miriam agreed to leave her adventurer. By some miracle, this marriage survived. But there was still a residue in Robert’s soul.

Robert came to me with this situation. He said he couldn’t take wife’s antics anymore. And do you know what I told him? Stop being patient! Stop doing everything for his wife and start living for himself! That’s the step-by-step plan I offered him:

  1. Learn to tell wife “No” to her requests. Even if she doesn’t like them. Even if they are not a burden. And even if he wants to do them. I advised Robert to limit his wife’s expenses, not to take her to the theaters, not to give her forced compliments, not to give her money unless she asks for it;
  2. Learn to please ourself. Instead of living for wife and doing everything for wife, it’s necessary do everything for yourself. I advised Robert to buy himself some nice clothes (he wore old clothes), change his car, go to the sea for two weeks, go with friends to the woods, fish and hunt in a man’s company;
  3. Set the wife a strict condition: no male friends. Since the trust limit is exhausted, there must be only one man in her life;
  4. Have a family council weekly. In it, the husband and wife should talk about their problems, what they lack, talk sincerely, without deception. This is necessary to deal honestly with the relationship, not to hide their problems in silence.

Robert listened to me and agreed that it might work. Of course, he still had his doubts (whether he needed such a wife now). I suggested that he live a couple of months for himself, and that his wife think about what she might be lost. Let her now try to do everything for him. And he will see if he likes this life. If not, they’ll divorce. And if he likes it, they’ll continue to build a family differently.

It’s been three months. And we met with Robert again. He told me that he had implemented my recommendations and his wife’s behavior has changed for the better (she said she was wrong and ready to change). Will that be the case? We’ll find out soon enough. Even if she lied, Robert already knows what to do.

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