The greatest secret of the human psyche that many ignore

The greatest secret of the human psyche that many ignore

Have you ever wondered why some people can achieve literally any goal, while others can achieve nothing? I mean, they decide to learn a foreign language and they do it. They decide they want to learn programming, and they do it. And others started, and it seems like there is progress, but it didn’t succeed, so they gave up.

Why does this happen? Most often because of weak willpower. Those who achieve everything have very strong willpower, and those who are not successful have weak willpower. No wonder there is a popular saying:

There is no such thing as CANNOT, there is only NOT WANT.

The true meaning of these words was not immediately apparent. It is understandable, because usually this phrase is associated with everyday difficulties, without giving it much importance. But now we are not going to talk about motivation, but about a deeper part of our psyche.

Here’s a small example. My colleague once stated:

– I’m tired of working for boss, I want to become a businessman.

I said:

– So be it, no one forbids it!

– But I CANNOT, I have no money…

– You don’t need a lot of money to get started.

– I don’t agree with you. It takes a lot of money to get a business to a good level of profit.

– Do you think you’ll make more money in business?

– Well, yes, all businessmen are rich.

– This is incorrect. Make up your mind, what exactly do you want: to be a businessman or to have money? Business is not only about money, it is hundreds of other parameters. But you want money, and that’s the only reason you’re here. And that’s why you’re still not a businessman. You come to work, and you sell your time and labor. In fact, this is where you will make more money today than in business.

Most of businessmen do business not because they want to have money, but because they LOVE their BUSINESS. The money is just a result of the success of that business. Of course, the goal of a business is to make a profit, but the main goal of a business owners is to do what they love, expanding his or her creativity. This is important because if you simply want money, nothing will work out, at least I don’t know of such examples. This is one of the reasons for many failures: not understanding your goals, desires, and values.

Our true self always knows what it wants. It is it that leads us to our desired goal. However, the mind (ego or personality), can get in the way, always trying to run the other way. And on a personal level we may want many things, but the “steering wheel” is elsewhere. It is for this reason that I am still not a soccer player or a boxer or the frontman of a rock band; it is for this reason that you are still who you are socially.

I’m going to tell you a very unpleasant thing now, but that phrase was said by a very famous man who got 10 rejections from Harvard, 30 job rejections, he was on the cusp of bankruptcy, and yet became a billionaire:

If you are poor at 40, you deserve it.

This was said by Jack Ma, founder of the largest Asian online marketplaces AliBaba and Aliexpress. It is no coincidence that I cited data on how many times this man was rejected, but Jack Ma still persevered toward his goal because he WANTED it (even though others would have given up and said CANNOT).

Now I’ll speak for myself. I didn’t become an athlete or a famous musician (although I still love and play sports) because I didn’t WANT it. Just like a factory or office worker doesn’t want to be anything else. Because:

People always do what they want.

And this rule works everywhere: in any country, in any city, on any continent. And it is perfectly scalable to all areas of life:

  • Everybody wants to be boss. But do people want to work more? No;
  • Everybody wants to be rich. But do people want to take risks for it? No;
  • Everyone wants to be a music or movie star. But do people want to be a nobody and be poor for a few years for that? No;
  • Everybody wants to be thin. But do people want to give up delicious and unhealthy food for it? No.

This last example is even more remarkable than the one about money, stars or business. People do what they want even if it’s unhealthy or doesn’t make sense. For example, people smoke and drink, knowing that it is destructive. Or go to a job they hate, live in a terrible neighborhood, etc. Excuses appear only if the person does not really want to do something. Laziness plays an important role in this case because it serves as an indicator of our true motives.

Whatever we do, we always do only what we really want to do, and along the way we encounter resistance from the surrounding reality. Even in order to go, we overcome the resistance of the air. But if difficulty stops you, then you didn’t really want to do it. In the moment, the counter-resistance may be stronger, but one is able to take pause without stopping the pursuit. And this is a greatest secret of the human psyche that many ignore.

So following this logic and rules absolutely everyone is where they deserve to be, because they are here where to want to be, and they do what they want to do. If that’s not the case, ask yourself: “Why don’t you change anything?”. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of excuses.

Of course, many of you will say: “I don’t want to change anything, because subconsciously I know that I am not capable of it, that I don’t have enough energy for it. Any business, any undertaking requires energy (money, health), and not everyone has it in reserve”. Yes, many people start something and then they run out of steam. But experience has shown that if they really WANT to change something in their lives, their 2nd, 3rd or 4th breath wakes up and they nevertheless will achieve it.

Fear of losing is not a working engine. It is a road to nowhere. By fearing to fail and staying where you are and who you are, you are just wasting your life while others are succeeding. Just think about it.

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