Should a wife do her husband’s duties when he is ill?

Should a wife do her husband’s duties when he is ill?

Usually I rarely get sick, but this winter I got overexcited when I bought my first car. I was so impressed that I decided to drive it with the music on loud and the windows ajar. Nature didn’t forgive me for that prank. I woke up the next morning with a temperature of 38.5°C.

I realized that I was seriously ill. As no luck, there was no food in the fridge. The food ran out yesterday. And since it’s me who buys the groceries for the house, the question came up: “Should I risk going to the store myself with a high fever, or ask my wife?”.

Of course, we could have ordered food online, but it came out much more expensive, and we would have had to wait two hours for a courier to our house. “What to do?” – I thought. “Should a wife do her husband’s duties when he is ill?”. My first thought: “I could get worse”. Second: “I have to try”.

I cautiously asked my wife: “Honey, aren’t you going to go get groceries alone?” At this moment, I had an uneasy feeling inside that since I hadn’t stocked up on food, it was my fault and I should deal with it. However, my wife also felt like crap in the morning (not because she was sick), so she frowned and said: “I don’t want to go”.

I thought: “How could that be? I’m sick, I have a high fever”. A couple of years ago I would have been resentful that my wife didn’t want to help me. I would have made a face, turned around, and gone to my room. I would have pretended to be terminally ill and miserable.

However, that was a couple of years ago. I am wiser now. This time I thought angrily: “I’m not going to be a parazite who blames others for own mistakes”.

Why would I think that? I asked myself several questions:

  1. Whose responsibility is it that I came down with a fever? Mine;
  2. Who is responsible for the groceries? I am;
  3. Who failed to purchase them? It’s me;
  4. Does my wife have to do my chores and go to the store? No. She has her own problems;
  5. If I start whining and complaining now, will it help my recovery? No.

My infantile escapade of driving a new car with windows ajar had deprived me not only of health, but also of food in the family. Obviously, it was my fault, not my wife’s.

The next thing to think about was how to get back to normal quickly, how to find the strength to perform my duties (go to the store). I took pills, rescheduled all work meetings, made a list of medicines and groceries, got ready and left the house (having checked the temperature once again). Unfortunately, I could not bring it down (38.5°C). At the same time my head was rattling and not thinking clearly, but I did not feel too weak. I reinsured myself and put on two scarves and two sweatshirts. And went to the store. I acted as quickly as possible and got through all the shopping in 25 minutes.

I came home, loaded the fridge, got a thank you from my wife. After that I lay down, wrapped myself in a blanket, refused the computer and the phone, just lay still and drank my medicine. In the evening the thermometer showed – 38°C, next morning it was 37.3°C. Bingo! I did it!

The funniest thing is that my wife, remembering the incident, told me: “I have never met a man who was so determined to lie down for two days and healed so quickly”. 🙂

Of course, this is a special case. I don’t urge you to run around town with a fever. It’s just the way it is in my family. I work for myself and I can’t be sick. I have clients waiting for me. And she depends on me.

With this story I want to bring you to another conclusion:

The husband, as the head of the family, must deal with his family’s current problems. It doesn’t matter if he is sick or healthy.

And he has the right to lie sick only after all current problems have been resolved.

But in many families this is not the case. If a man is sick, he stops doing household chores. He just lies on the couch and complains. And what does this lead to? A man starts to like being sick! He loses mobilization, gets even more weak, and gives up on business. This is completely ridiculous.

Of course, my wife could have helped me out if I was feeling worse and could have gone grocery shopping. Close people should bail each other out in difficult situations. But in this situation I created the problem myself, so it was unacceptable to put it on my wife’s shoulders.


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