Cool infantilism or Perverted norm of the modern male

Cool infantilism or Perverted norm of the modern male

Today it is trendy to demonstrate one’s status and success. And it doesn’t matter what kind of person you are.

Today the pattern of “the infantile macho” is trending. It is the pattern of the male who easily gets success and who easily part with money. It is the man who walks into one of the city’s hot spots, all relaxed, with a perpetual smile on his face, wearing expensive clothes and carrying the keys from an expensive car. It’s the pattern of a man who walks into a bar and says to all: “My treat”, after which he orders the most expensive whiskey or tequila and casually starts talking to the beautiful woman sitting next to him.

At this moment, everyone in the bar understands who is the main “supplier of coolness”.

The male role is no longer one of caring, but of being cool. And women themselves are to blame. They are looking for someone who will provide them with an easy and carefree life. They are bitten by coolness and entourage; it is easier for them to put themselves in the hands of a general, a sheikh, a harem master, instead of raising a general or a king themselves.

And what do we end up with? Almost everyone of male thinks they are “macho”, almost everyone openly shows their success (even if it’s absent, and clothes, watches and a car were bought on credit). Men with an easy-going demeanor, a jokers, who constantly fail to keep their promises (and get away with it) today are more popular with women than businesslike, stern and serious men who are demanding of themselves and others. Why? Because women consider them “nerds” and “robots”, boring and unattractive.

Don’t believe me? Look around you. Look who in your office is more popular with women: the quiet professional or the one who speaks the loudest and boasts of his successes? You will see a man who is charming, smiling, relaxed, quick-witted, humorous, smart, dreamy and a pathological liar to himself, irritable and tired of a lot of unfulfilled tasks and promises. And, most likely, with problems in his personal life.

Why does he have so many problems? Because he likes to fantasize and tell himself and others about his goals and plans, and then he doesn’t realize anything. Because he complains to others and they try to help him. Because he was not disciplined and badly raised by his father since childhood, he was not taught to solve problems on his own. Because his mother was smitten with his charm and kindness, and forgave all the pranks and deceptions.

As they get older, these men believe that it is their cheerful, pious behavior that helps them overcome problems.

As a result, we have what we have: there are thousands of “macho”, “super succesful” males around us who do not want to take on the role of a real man. They have a high degree of relaxation, an uncritical attitude toward themselves, unkeeping their promises and goals, an acute need to constantly relax and have fun, and finally a “Peter Pan complex”, i.e., a desire to remain a carefree and joyful guy who is alien to the hardships of life.

This makes them hostage to situations where, on the one hand, a person may be in a position of leadership or responsibility, but is overwhelmed with tasks, goals, promises, and doesn’t know how to cope. This cool infantilist can only keep smiling, joking, or complaining until other people solve the problem. Or until it falls quite low, where it is necessary to really change something.

Do you think I’m writing this to show how bad we are? No. I’ve been like that myself; I know what I’m talking about. Most of the problems of men who have achieved success in business lie exactly on this plane:

I’m smart and capable, kind, not demanding, able to enjoy life, why do I have so many problems? Why is my business not growing and falling apart?

That’s why. Being kind, cheerful, and relaxed is not enough to live well.

We men need to learn to be tough, serious, demanding of ourselves and others, and to be able to strain to fulfill our fantasies and not put it on other people.


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