I know that many men who are recently divorced or out of a relationship don’t want to go right back there with a new date. They just want to date, go on dates and have a good time.
But they are afraid to say it outright to the girls! Like, it would scare them off, they need a serious relationship too, and all that.
This, of course, is not true. I’ll tell you a story of one of my clients, who decided to conduct an experiment and honestly tell the girls about his goals.
It went like this. The man’s name was John and he worked as a deputy head of an industrial enterprise. On my advice he registered on a dating site and went to chat with the ladies.
John looked quite adequate: classic clothes, polite, calm. He liked to listen attentively, he spoke little and to the point. He preferred to appoint appoint dates at once. Therefore there were no problems with acquaintance and chatting.
He acted according to the same scenario: he invited the girl to a cafe, gave her a drink, paid for dinner, and went for a walk. At the same time, he honestly said that his goal was not a relationship or a family, but just a pleasant conversation.
John, of course, was also afraid that he was going to be a total failure. And that was what the first date was like. The woman after heard “I don’t want a relationship”, sat for half an hour, just said him goodbye.
The second girl also seemed to say that, but continued to chat with him. So what? A man is sitting there, chatting nicely, giving him a treat. No problem at all. At the end, he told her about himself and his work (and he had seen a lot as an energy industry worker), and he even made jokes sometimes. When he paid her, he asked her to go for a walk and she surprisingly agreed.
And after another half hour of walking, the girl surprised him by saying:
“You know, I liked you, I wanted to leave at first, but I realized that you are better than many people I have seen on websites. They write bullshit, say they want a relationship, but all they really have in mind is sex. With you it is much more pleasant to communicate and everything is honest”.
In the end they agreed to meet again and then they went out and dated for a long time.
The moral of the story is simple:
Be honest with those with whom you are communicating. If you want a date for just conversation, explicitly tell the girl that.
Yes, half of the women won’t like your honesty, but the other half will have a chance to think it over and maybe even agree to it. And everyone will have a good time.