The love triangle and its consequences

The love triangle and its consequences

Brian had been dating Lory for two years. They had a significant age difference (he was 38, she was 31), but nevertheless their relationship was wonderful. Lory was a good person, a smart, kind woman who suited Brian completely as a partner, a friend, and a close person.

But not everything was perfect in this pair. Brian was not enjoying sex, and a couple of times he tried to hint to Lory to go to a sex therapist or a sex shop. But Lory took offense at that and thought he didn’t like her the way she was.

Brian waited and tolerated. So a few weeks went by. But his passion and temper got the better of him, and his energy found an outlet elsewhere – in 24-year-old Pamela. A slender blonde, an athlete, she was an accomplished fencer and full of energy.

She made Brian feel really good. There was a lot of flirting, emotions, feelings, jokes and passion. Even Pamela’s parents loved the man. How did Pamela’s parents know about their relationship? Because Brian lied that he was free and ready to love Pamela as the one and only!

That’s how he lived on two fronts. Lied to both, but enjoyed both. The classic love triangle.

Then one day Lory found out about the cheating. There were scandals, hysterics, broken dishes… Brian promised that he would leave Pamela and never do that again.

But he lied. He continued to meet Pamela while he was working. What’s interesting: he told her he had a bride. And what did Pamela do? She just called Lory herself and said: “He’s mine! Forget about him!”.

The man expected Lory to be hysterical, to cry and sob, but she just told him “go to hell” and blocking his number and also in all messengers. An icy silence and no comments.

And then Brian realized that he wasn’t used to living without Lory. He was getting bored and lonely. He was turning inside out without her. Everything with Pamela was a blur and a mistake. He suddenly needed Lory back. She’s the best woman in the world who’s right for him in every way. And intimacy can be fixed and everything will be fine.

Only problem was Lory flatly refused to give it all back. She said that didn’t believe he’d straighten up and stop cheating on her. She said it was humiliating for her to be together again. She couldn’t forgive him for cheating twice.

So Brian came to me with a request to get the woman back. I looked at the situation and said that there was a chance, but not much, so she would negotiate, but she did not believe him at all.

The best thing he can do is to get on with his life and stop depending on women. Learn to be independent. And little by little, try to win back Lory’s trust, not with words, but with actions (with help, gifts, money). To compensate for the suffering he brought her. But do not demand anything in return, do not expect her to instantly love him back.

I advised Brian to set himself a timeline: how long he would wait for her (three months, six months, or a year). And if nothing changes during that time, he should admit defeat and move on.


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