I have never complained about the lack of female attention. I am quite successful, I earn good money, I am socially active, I do sports. However, for some reason I have no luck with women. I just can’t find “the one” with whom I want to spend my whole life.
But everything changed when I read Freud and I was very impressed by a one sentence of the great psychologist, which said that a woman is obliged to treat the man. It was a revelation from above, and I finally realized how to evaluate the woman who is near me.
But let’s talk about everything in order. I’ll tell you how I came to it.
I work as an engineer. It’s an interesting job, but not without stress. Once we were commissioning an important facility and I was in charge of commissioning processes. It was a difficult month at work, when we were at the site day and night. But I put up with it, because my goal was to make money. Because the management had promised me a great bonus and I had to earn it.
For a whole month I came home late and left early. At that time I lived with a woman with whom I was not married. We had been living together for almost two years and she kept asking me when I would marry her.
In principle, I was not against marriage to her, but something was holding me back. Life was smooth, no rush, everything suited me, although I was physically tired, and psychologically, too.
So the weeks passed. And then she started talking about marriage again, and I once again said: “Not now”. That same evening I began to think about why I refused her and suddenly everything cleared up in my head:
I came home from work always tired, dirty and hungry, but this woman did not cook food, did not relax me, did not create comfort and warmth in the house, but just whined about her problems and demanded attention to herself.
She was also constantly angry that I could work with my laptop and phone at home. Sometimes I had to answer late calls, and it annoyed her wildly. She thought that I should belong only to her at home. I explained to her that this is important to me. But she did not understand.
I tried to explain my busyness to her calmly, asked her to cook dinner beforehand and do laundry. She answered me once: “I’m not your wife!”. At this moment I realized that in this way she was forcing me to make a decision that I could not make.
A few weeks later the pressure at work ended, I received my money, and my girlfriend wanted to go on a trip. But by then I no longer had any desire to spend money on her.
We broke up.
I thought for a long time about what caused the breakup of our relationship, why I did not want to take her as my wife. I decided to read some books on psychology and it hit me when I read this phrase by Sigmund Freud:
A woman should relax a man, not weaken him.
I thought: “Oh my God, that’s the reason. This girl was only stressing me out instead of relaxing me”.
This Freud’s wise phrase much helped me better understand women. And today I build relationships only according to this principle: “I give you attention and money, and you give me relaxation and care”. There is no other way.
And yes, I now avoid “queens” and “princesses” who only want to be admired, pampered, and cherished, but do not want to give me what I need.
Women are such creatures that they have no “internal relay”, which would turn off the action. If she wants to demand attention, she will do it no matter what.
If she has a lot of emotions, she can scorch a man’s entire psyche with them. Consequently, if you look at a woman using Freud’s phrase, you can see where the energy goes and whether this woman is needed next to you.