In my opinion, the boys of today’s generation are very lacking in masculine upbringing. This is often done by mothers, trying to make them more disciplined, active, brave.
But it is difficult for a woman to instill this, because she is also a mother who loves and fears for her child. So it is very important that fathers tell their sons simple but effective words that will forever remain in the minds of their children.
“You’re smart and you’ll figure it out with all”
Intelligence is critical to a man. It is important for making money, for solving problems, for attracting women. Everybody loves smart men and everybody laughs at stupid ones. That’s why I am amazed at fathers who constantly criticize and berate their sons. They’re just giving up on their lives! How can you “destroy” your own children like that?
My father often told me that I was smart, and praised me for solving school problems, fiddling with the computer or repairing some household items. This was always inspiring and encouraging. Thanks to this, I was able to do well in school and at university, and then to get two more additional education. This increases my self-confidence very much.
“Always fight back”
Even though my father didn’t teach me to fight, he kept repeating the same phrase: “any aggression must be met and always fight back”. That a man should always be ready to fight and never back down.
My father periodically told me the story of how he had been attacked at school by high school students, but he did not run away and cry, but silently wrestled with them with his fists. Of course they beat him (there were just more of them and they were taller and stronger), but then they realized that “this one won’t bend” and they never interfered again.
It helped me not to join the ranks of those who were bullied or persecuted at school. Yes, I was afraid of fights, but I could stand up for myself – I punched the bullies in the nose a couple of times and since then they left me alone. The guys around me knew that ‘this one will defend himself’. Now I do boxing and of course that helps even more.
“If you make a promise, keep your word”
A trite truth, but an important one. My father taught me that if I promised to clean the house, take out the trash, or do my homework, it had to be done. No matter what the circumstances, no matter how difficult or tedious the task seemed, it had to be done. You promised, you did. That’s a real man’s approach.
My father would stand over me until I did what he told me to do. And that really built up my manhood. Unfortunately, such situations were few and far between, I lacked such a demanding attitude from my father in other things: in sports, in work, in the ability to be the best. But what my father made me do, the discipline was perfect.
So it’s imperative that fathers force and demand from their sons that they make commitments around the house and keep a tight rein on them. This is the minimum. Ideally, it should extend to school, sports, money.
“Know how to live within your means”
As many men as I know, almost all of them are big spenders. They spend all the money they earn right away. And even if they put the money aside, save up for a couple of months, they immediately buy some crap.
I think this is a lack of financial literacy and paternal upbringing in childhood. Fathers should teach their sons how to live within their means, curb impulse purchases, and not give in to their emotions.
My father always lived frugally and limited my spending as a child. I can still remember him saying: “What other shampoo should I buy you? One that doesn’t sting your eyes? Can’t you just close your eyes?!”. I remember this saying and laugh now.
Thanks to that, I never went into major debt and rarely made impulse purchases. Unfortunately, it didn’t save me from making mistakes altogether, but I’ve lived sensibly most of my life. It did lead me to another problem – I didn’t want to make more money that I have.
“Try to be better than you were yesterday”
This is probably the most important thing a father can say to his son.
I think that every father should wish his son to be the best at what he does: the best doctor, the best engineer, the best teacher, the best programmer. It is important to make his son wish this on a subconscious level! To make him think all time this dream!
However, it is important that the father not only guide his son, but also help him in this, as well as encourage him and reassure him in case of failures. Just phrases “when lying on the couch” won’t work.
It is important for the father to remind his son that he should grow up without being silly or crazy. You don’t need to grow up a genius. It’s enough for your son to just gradually become better than yesterday, not to sit still and not to stagnate on his achievements.
And also do not forget that the father must bring up his son first of all by his behavior, by personal example. The right words are also needed, but in the memory of children for life remain the actions of parents in difficult situations and their choice of behavior in them.