How to resist arrogant people?
Surely at least once in your life you had to communicate with a person who was trying to show his superiority. Which, by the way, often turns out to be contrived. But realizing the true nature of arrogant people does not make communication with them pleasant. Let’s consider how to resist them.
The crux of the problem
The reasons for your interlocutor’s arrogant behavior may vary, but the main ones are:
- A sense of entitlement. When you behave insecurely and tightly, giving the impression of a defenseless person, there will always be someone who will take advantage of it;
- Manipulation. Behind the usual, it would seem, boorishness may hide an elaborate system by which your emotions will be easily controlled;
- Hostility. Some people behave arrogantly with those who seem to them unworthy of communication. Most often this is caused by a particular upbringing and pattern of behavior in the family;
- Rudeness. The most innocuous reason, in my opinion – a person simply does not understand that he behaves indiscreetly and it can hurt someone so much. Being rude is already a habit in his life.
11 Ways to confront arrogant people
Let’s look at how to resist arrogant people.
A simple solution is to stop communicating. Some will call this an escape from the problem, but I believe that in this way you save your strength and do not test your patience. Ignore, cut off all communication, make sure you have nothing in common. Anything, but don’t let yourself be asserted at your own expense.
Keep your distance
If there is no possibility to break off communication at all, then try to move away from the arrogant person at an acceptable distance. In a literal and figurative sense. Do not react to his antics, behave calmly and professionally. Showing emotion is the worst thing you can do.
Discuss the problem
In case the person himself doesn’t understand how unpleasant his behavior is, try to explain it to him. Calmly describe the nature of the conflict and suggest a way to rectify the situation.
All manipulators and toxic people are wary of personalities who look like them. In communicating, you might say, with yourself, an arrogant person will not stand for it. So start mirroring all of his actions and demeanor.
Assess your surroundings
Look closely to see if the person is the only one who behaves this way with you. You can also ask common acquaintances what they think of him. If it turns out that no one else sees the problem, then it is not arrogance at all, but a personal dislike. Try to resolve the conflict by talking and discussing grievances.
When you sense the person is crossing the line, make a correct remark. Remind the insolent person that there are other opinions, that the truth belongs to no one, and that in general he or she may be wrong.
This is easily accomplished with the phrases “Sorry to interrupt, but…”, “You may not mean to sound arrogant, but…”. The main thing is to do it calmly, without raising your voice.
Find an ally
Sometimes arrogant people can be real hard nuts. It is unlikely that you will be able to communicate with such persons in private on a controversial topic. In such a situation, try to involve other people in your conversation: a third party can help resolve the conflict. Another way out is to find an ally with whom you will confront the arrogant person together.
It is especially difficult to communicate with an arrogant person if it is your colleague or family member, and you have to confront him or her nose-to-nose every day. In such a case it is especially important not to lose concentration, to continue to follow your schedule and work, avoiding showdowns and unnecessary communication. Marking the boundaries between you can be a key factor in interacting with an arrogant person.
Accept the attacks
According to psychologists, sometimes it is useless to argue with a person who accepts only his point of view. Instead of wasting energy on change of mind, you can simply agree with your interlocutor. This technique is called psychological aikido.
Agreeing with the attacks of an arrogant man, you can expose his wrongdoing. He does not expect such behavior from you, so he will quickly give up.
By insulting and devaluing you, the arrogant person expects you to try to defend yourself and respond in kind. But the point is that such a person’s self-confidence cannot be “penetrated” simply by unpleasant words. Therefore, it makes no sense to start a game of such attacks.
Psychiatrist Mark Goulston believes that arrogant people should be flattered. As with psychological aikido, the person does not expect you to agree with him. Therefore, he will be confused when he hears pleasant words from a vis-a-vis.
Use the “anti-shock damage” method
This method will help if a person frequently uses sarcasm, both to attack the other person and to defend himself.
The essence of the method of “antiknock damage” is the ability to sustain a pause after hearing sarcasm. During it you will be able to concentrate, and your opponent will receive a signal that his plan is revealed and you did not succeed in provoking him.
After the pause, you need to respond in the style of an arrogant man. In response to your statement, he will start to deny, trying to think up a new strategy in parallel. Wait a little longer until the tension subsides, and then move the conversation in another direction.