I work as a family psychologist and I want to share the story of a one patient here.
Recently a woman came to me and said the following:
“I’ve had a strong character since childhood. I grew up a boyish girl and was the leader of the boys in the neighborhood. At school and in college, the guys respected me and feared me. I have made a career at work, my subordinates are almost all men. I manage them so that my department is considered the best. I do not hide the fact that I am a commander in a skirt.
But in my personal life it really bothers me. Strong men do not want to fight with me for power in a couple, so around me there are only weaklings and mama’s sons. But I’m not burning desire to babysit them! How do I change that?”
My advice as a psychologist was this:
First, begin to separate roles: at work you – the head, tough and uncompromising, and in personal relationships – a loving woman, soft and feminine. Out of the office – you leave the manager behind his door.
Secondly, accept the following fact: if you want to see a successful, strong and equal to you man – learn to be a weak woman. Influence on men can not be direct, and invisibly, in a female way: to inspire, mildly direct and support.
Third, so there was no conflict in the relationship, cede the role of leader to a man. Tell him that from now on in all decisions last word to him and try to always follow this concept.
A woman’s real strength lies in her weakness.
I am by no means suggesting that you break yourself and pretend to be a gentle daisy! Look for the qualities that will allow you to become softer, more feminine, weaker in men’s eyes.
You can strengthen your femininity by doing feminine things – such as dancing, knitting, sewing, cooking. You can start drawing or singing, growing flowers, making beautiful bouquets, decorating the house, etc.
Develop feminine strength instead of masculine behavior. Learn to be wise, try to always look for compromise in relationships, watch your voice and intonation: stop giving orders – instead speak more softly, calmly.
Start flirting with men. Flirting turns a formidable panther into a soft house pussy, and flirting makes a great influence on men without resorting to commanding behavior.
If you want to influence men, you don’t have to be an “iron lady”. It is enough to know how to flirt.
Look closely at how other women flirt – take note of their tricks and techniques. Smile more often and ask men for help in different situations
That’s the story. If you, too, have found that you feel that you are surrounded by weak men, then it’s your problem, not men’s. Don’t take on the role of a man if you are a woman. You don’t need it! Your strength lies elsewhere. Let the men command, and you flirt. If you lack the knowledge and skills of flirting, look for information on the Internet, take appropriate courses or visit a psychologist.