A reader of our blog recently sent us this question:
Hello. Please tell me please a method or instruction what I should do to like the appearance of only my wife, and not other women and girls?
That is, this man has a wife, but he can not wean himself from the habit of staring at other women. You’ll say: “Well, what’s the problem? Looking is not groping”. No, it isn’t. It’s not all so clear-cut here. It could be just admiring someone else’s beauty, or it could be hiding a serious psychological problem that could ruin this marriage. And below we will tell you why.
Why do married men stare at other women?
Men are so constructed that they are hunters by nature. They are constantly on the lookout for prey, for new opportunities. That is why the habit of looking for something new and interesting is normal, natural, it is inherent in nature.
“Even after the mousetrap is invented, the cat will still catch mice”, says a popular wisdom. And no matter what women say, and no matter how much they oppose men looking at other women, you can’t fix it.
Nature has also laid other things in men – to look around the territory in search of females for the continuation of the race. And this habit stays with the male sex for life. So even if a man is married he will still pay attention to other women. But the key question here is: “Why and for what purpose does he do this?”.
Looking at other women of a married man is not cheating. Yes, of course it’s unpleasant for the wife (especially if it happens near her), but there’s nothing criminal about it.
Why is it a bad habit?
The habit of looking at other women does not indicate a probability of infidelity. However, this bad habit makes your beloved woman doubt that you love her. But worse than that, this habit dissipates your attention – instead of giving it to your woman, you give your attention to others.
Also, looking at other women can lead to real cheating if there are serious problems in the couple. What kind of problems? Here are some of them:
- Unsatisfaction of sex;
- If you are not satisfied with the way your wife looks;
- If you are not just watching, but also flirting;
- If you like to exercise, relax and walk alone, without a wife.
We will not dwell here in detail on how to save the marriage in such cases: our topic is not about that at all. Let’s take a look at what advice we can give our reader.
What to do and how not to be distracted by other women if you are married?
1. Consciously look less at other women
Yes, it’s not easy. Yes, short skirts and cleavage are everywhere. Yes, ladies themselves provoke us to look at them. So what can we do? Close our eyes? Think of all the beautiful women as ugly?
It’s simpler than that. Think about this:
If you see a pretty girl, just look away. This is attention. It is much easier to control than the reflexes laid down by nature. It is essentially a “psychological muscle” that can be easily trained if you want to.
Remember: your wife needs your attention too. If 80% of your attention during the day goes to beautiful women in the street or on Instagram, you will have nothing to direct at your wife. By evening you will be tired, you will not care. If you do the opposite, 80% of attention to direct to his wife (and you have a beautiful woman, right?), then interest in it will not be lost.
Recommendations: unsubscribe from all social networks groups and accounts 18+, fitness blogger girls, cosplayers and other beautiful girls. Stop looking at women at work and on the street, and focus on your own business.
2. Stop talking to women “just for fun”
Many social studies say that regular interaction with any person makes him or her seem more and more attractive and interesting. Objective beauty like, for example, a straight nose, a model figure or clean skin is not as important as close and close communication (proximity principle).
I think you have often noticed that at first you some girl did not seem very beautiful, but the more you communicate with her, the more you change your mind.
Recommendations: minimize communication with women with whom you do not have a business relationship. Better concentrate on what really matters => get closer to your wife.
3. Stop going to fitness centers, theaters, bars and other entertainment places without your wife
I don’t think any special explanation is needed here. The logic is exactly the same as attention. If you drain your sexual energy on fantasies, there is simply nothing left for the real person.
Recommendations: stop with the solo walkout altogether. As a last resort, always imagine your wife.
4. Compliment and touch your wife more often
Fading interest in your wife almost always goes along with a lack of touching and compliments. Do you want a change? Start doing these 2 actions regularly.
Important: You don’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. Find attractive traits in your wife and emphasize them.
Recommendations: consciously look for the beautiful things you like about your wife and tell her that. Similarly with the figure.
5. Show your wife by example how to change
Some readers will say that they are happy not to look at other women, it’s all his wife’s fault. Like, let themselves go after childbirth, not watching the exterior or just dress boring.
As a rule, in such cases, men themselves are not so great. The wife is not engaged in sports? The man himself is thin (or fat) and slouchy. The wife doesn’t dress attractively? The man himself wears gray and outdated clothes.
There are hundreds of examples of athlete husbands who have engaged their wives in exercise and she has changed dramatically in just 1-2 years. I personally started dressing much better when my wife got into style.
Recommendations: start going to the gym, set an example, and if in six months you become more athletic and muscular, his wife may also want this effect. Buy beautiful clothes and you will notice that your wife is also changing. But don’t expect an instant effect, it may take time before your wife will appreciate your result.