We are all different people, but 98% of us dream of living by the sea. This is a fact!
But, most interestingly, no one admits to it. But, what is even more difficult: not even the closest of family and friends will admit it.
I live by the sea. My house is built right on the shore of the Mediterranean Sea.
What can I tell you about it? It’s awesome! But I got this house through hard work, perpetual overwork at work, and lost health. But what do mine relatives think? It surprises me: “Yeah, she’s got a house by the sea, why doesn’t she call, she’s got a couple of beds available”. No, no, no, she doesn’t! Or rather, yes, but only for three days. And below I’ll tell you why.
About the curse of the house by the sea
When I moved to a house near the sea, I met my family very often and did not deny them anything. I didn’t charge for my stay, and I also fed my guests and treated them to drinks. Many of these people stayed with me for few weeks.
All this was fascinating, but not only did my family budget not grow during those summer vacation months, it even shrank. So I thought: “What am I doing wrong?”.
I went to my mom for advice and this is what she told me:
If you stay in the house for three days, you are a guest; if more, then you are the host.
It’s the 3-day rule that dawned on me. I finally realized my mistake: all my guests and relatives took my hospitality for granted. They didn’t want to help me, they didn’t want to pay money, they were counting on the fact that I (as a relative) owed them everything for free.
Meanwhile, my mother reasoned more sensibly:
“Whether you are a relative or not, food and housing costs money. So, either you come to visit for a period of no more than 3 days you should bring food. If more – you should pay for your life in my house (buy food, cook food, clean up the house and yard, wash, pay utility and household expenses, help with repairs if necessary).”
Why is this rule so important?
This rule is important because all your relatives and acquaintances think so: “Since they moved to the sea, so we can stay there for free!”. At the same time, all these people do not care about the fact that you had to work 12-14 hours a day seven days a week, ruin your health and score on your rest. What can you say here?
“I’ve had enough! Me and my house is not a free hotel. I don’t owe you anything (even if you are relatives). If you want to rest at the sea, you are welcome. But respect my work!”.
Maybe you don’t see it as a problem. It means that you do not live near the sea. I was very fond of my relatives, but all summer they were always trying to come to me.
I did not refuse. But every year I was getting rougher. The last straw was when my relatives took my car for a trip to the beach and scratched it. After that they told me: “It’s nothing, why are we fighting over some iron?”.
What is interesting: many relatives think that since I live at the sea, I have to must provide them with a program: “beach-barbecue-wine”. That’s why I vote for this saying:
A good guest is a guest for three days and then a bone in the throat.
So the solution to this problem is very simple: “Do you like living here? Then pay your rent!”.
Of course, it is difficult if they are your relatives. The situation, frankly speaking, is not the most pleasant: you do not want to spoil the relationship, but there is no desire to receive guests either.
4 Ways to politely refuse guests without being rude
- Talk about having nowhere to sleep. Tell your guests that you have one couch and that’s it. There are no other sleeping places;
- Tell the guests that there will be no breakfast here. Make up something like: “My daughter never eats breakfast, so I don’t cook”;
- Talk about how you don’t like to cook! This phrase will immediately draw away from you lovers of free food;
- Tell them that you don’t like fuss and noise. In this case your guests will immediately realize that the noisy company will not get together in your home.
Does it all work?
Yes, it all works. My family and friends are finally starting to respect my work, my age, and my hobbies. They started paying for their summer stay at my place (because it’s trivially more profitable than renting a hotel).
Am I happy with this influx of guests? Both, yes and no. On the one hand it is somehow unfair to take money from close relatives, on the other hand, I got this house with a lot of work and loss of health. So (my darlings) unzip your wallets and pay me what I say.
Nothing in this world is free. So if you want new emotions, pay for it!