Life is a medal with two sides. And both sides are necessary and present in the life of each person:
- The first side is the endless problems that need to be solved. And also, the endless feelings of a negative, unpleasant nature that accompany these problems;
- The second side is the vast world around us, filled with boundless beauty, amazing diversity, and endless opportunities for joy and pleasure in life.
A wise, mature, strong man who lives his life well is one who has accepted with all his heart, all his soul, and all his being both sides of the coin. He knows for sure that there will be problems, losses, and hard feelings. And he does not run from it, for example, into fashionable pseudo-optimism.
And at the same time, he also knows that the world and life are beautiful. Go out, take the joy. There’s plenty of it all around you. But an under-understood person, immature, weak in some way – he doesn’t accept. Either the first, or the second, or both sides of the coin of life.
And, therefore, he suffers. He doesn’t live, he exists. He can “run away from reality” into different kinds of addictions (food, alcohol, game, shop addiction, drugs, cigarettes). And, even workaholism.
You just have to accept that problems are inevitable. Stop thinking that life is “a river of milk and sour cream”. That you were made for happiness. Instead, you have to learn to solve problems quickly and efficiently. Learn to control your feelings and emotions. And learn how to notice the good.
But it’s one thing to say. It’s another thing to do it. So how do we learn to be happy in a pile of problems?
To be happy, you have to learn to turn all problems into tasks. That is, from “I feel bad, I feel terrible, my life sucks,” instead ask yourself, “What do I want instead? What do I want? To be what?”
And here, at this point, we move from the position of “victim of life and circumstances” to the position of “I am strong and I can”. And, if the task is set, all that is left is to find ways of solving it.
Yes, there are things completely beyond our control. But always, even in them, we can set a goal – not to change the circumstances, but to live them effectively. And in situations of hopeless loss, this would be the right task.
As for the feelings that torment us day and night (sadness, anger, hatred, envy, resentment, longing, etc.), we should simply accept them as the cost of living. Well, for example, you tell a person: let yourself live out your feelings, don’t press them into you, don’t deny them – and he looks at you like you’re crazy. Not used to it! Since, pseudo-optimism reigns in society. And walking around with a smile 24/7 is your responsibility, as well as posting your gorgeous cloudless life.
So if you want to simulate happiness, then simulate it. But not to yourself!
Because only an honest, sincere acknowledgement of your feelings and allowing yourself to live them out, shout them out, dance them out, talk them out, draw them out, spit them out in verse, can help to reduce the level of destruction. That they have on the whole body, and on life as a whole.