Every person, every soul on the planet is happy in its own way. But I don’t care what others have, I really want to be happy in my own way! I’m certainly happy to have happy people walking around me, but I come to an indescribable delight when that happiness is experienced in me, inside me.
Ask anyone, what is their greatest aspiration in life? Many will list that they would like to become famous, have a family, raise children, make a lot of money and then live to their own satisfaction. The variety of answers is staggering.
The one wise man once said: “How many people, so many opinions”. The amazing thing is that everyone agreed with him.
It’s the same with happiness. There are as many people on the planet as there are opinions about happiness. It is very easy to get lost in this diversity. This plethora of opinions is especially stressful when trying to become happy yourself. Somehow you can’t become happy all at once. Aspiration alone is not enough.
So along with the process of making yourself “happier” comes the process of learning: how to become happy. You don’t know what to grab onto. Should I take up self-education and become clever? Or should I attend to my physical condition and bring my body control to perfection? Or should I try to earn as much money as possible and satisfy my innermost material needs?
The choice of paths in life is enormous. On top of that, many people tell you that this path may not be right for you, it’s “not your thing”. But how do you know that at the beginning of the path? You can spend your whole life in this way, and you won’t have the time or energy to go back and start down a new path. That’s where the real nightmare and trouble are!
How not to get like that with the search for happiness? Is there a recipe for happiness? Is there a way that applies to all people? If there is, then you just need to take the methodology for achieving happiness and act, and move in the direction indicated in the methodology.
Everyone is happy in their own way
The happiness is an individual and subjective notion. And in this vague description lies the main riddle and the great mystery, which everyone can unravel. Adjusting for own life circumstances, character and attitude to reality.
So based on this postulate there is no recipe for happiness. This, alas, is true. But there are thousands of recipes on how to become happier. Some of these recipes will help to make easy adjustments in the relationship with the world around them, someone can completely change his life in a radical way, making life brighter and more positive.
If everyone is happy in their own way, then we are left to find our own way, take our own and unique route. And most importantly, don’t waste time looking for a recipe for happiness.
When your son comes to you and asks how to become happy, you answer: “I do not know, my son, I can only tell you how I found my way. But it will not help you much. After all, you have your own way and you won’t have anything in common with my happiness. Search for it yourself. Everyone is happy in his own way!
So we have two options, two possibilities to answer this question. But this question did not arise from nothing. If we look at the nature of people, we will notice that we all have similar traits and qualities in some ways, and different in others.
An example of this would be the observation that all people, by definition, want to be happy. There is not a single person who would say: “You know, I wouldn’t want to be happy. I’m fine here: depressed, in agony, in pain”. You just won’t find such a person. Aristotle once said: “All man’s actions are directed to making himself happy”.
That is, everyone, without exception, has the desire to experience positive emotions and feelings. But here is another very important thought: EVERYTHING human actions! Whatever we do in our lives, we do it with the idea that it will lead us to a cherished goal, a cherished dream. Even a suicidal person who is trying to end his life, he thinks that his act will make him happy. In what way? Very simply: the end of life is the end of the pain he feels. And the absence of pain and suffering is happiness, if nothing else.
Now let us consider any science. For example, psychology. Psychology does not study how one person is different from another person, but how they are similar. Psychology studies general patterns. Researchers look for commonalities in different things. This is what they observe and study. As soon as a scientist notices that two quite different things have something in common, he immediately becomes interested in it, if not better yet: he becomes excited.
This unity in diversity is literally an emotional delight for all creative people (painters, poets, artists, musicians, etc). Even when we listen to another person’s account of an incident in their unique life, we also try to find commonalities, and say, “I had a similar situation!”. These are all signs of looking for commonalities in the incredible and immense variety of life, life in the broadest sense of the word.
No need to look and wait for happiness, just create it. (Elchin Safarli)
So, people have a common nature, a common psychology, common traits and qualities. But at the same time we are all very different.
Medicine tells us that we have the same blood, but this blood has different characteristics in different people. Blood type and Rh factor are different. We are DIFFERENT. We all have skin, but the color of that skin is different. Psychology has several hundred types of people according to their mental and psychological characteristics. We are DIFFERENT!
Some feel good when they are in noisy company, others when they are alone with themselves. Some are happy to see changes in life, while others seek stability and cannot tolerate impermanence. We are DIFFERENT.
What conclusion can be drawn from the above facts?
Does a general recipe for happiness exist or not? Perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle. The answer that modern psychology gives is that there is a general recipe for happiness for all people, but it is different for everyone.
How is this possible? If people’s nature is the same, then we can derive a formula for happiness that will fit all people. But since there are individual differences in this common nature, then we can derive a formula for happiness for a particular person. And the prescription of the general one is the main one and the individual one is an additional one. Let us describe this with an example:
Imagine that we have several varieties of potatoes. For potatoes to grow and give a rich harvest, they need certain conditions, such as soil with nutrients, sunshine, and moisture. If these conditions are not provided, no potatoes will grow. But it is also true that not all potato varieties need the same amount of light and moisture. Some varieties need more moisture, others less. But every potato variety needs moisture as such. Creating GENERAL certain conditions for the growth of potatoes is the GENERAL receptption of happiness. But it is also necessary to know what makes one variety different from another in order to be able to create an additional, individual recipe for happiness. A similar analogy applies to humans.
For example, all people have the need for new sensations and experiences. Satisfying these needs makes a person happy. But one person needs just one experience a year, while another needs it every day. One needs a trip to another country, while another needs only one book to read.
To enjoy one’s work, one’s profession, one must choose that profession correctly. One person is endowed with a talent for logical reasoning and will become a scientist, another, has the ability for imaginative experience and will become an artist. The general part of happiness – it is necessary to find a profession, the individual part – everyone should understand and feel for himself what kind of profession it will be.
The ancient truth “Know Yourself” refers to the knowledge of both the general nature of man as such and the knowledge of one’s uniqueness, the difference from other people, the knowledge of one’s individuality.
We tend to concentrate more on knowing our “I”, our dissimilarity to other people. In adolescence, we make it a “fix idea”. We like to be different from each other, we do not want to be like other people, and we do everything in order to stand out from the crowd. What’s more important here is understanding what makes a person happy as such. That is, knowledge of the GENERAL NATURE of a person will be more valuable and effective in relation to the pursuit of happiness.
Where to look for this knowledge? Humanity has accumulated quite a wealth of experience in this regard, and this experience is reflected in the world’s culture, art and science, and of course the Internet. By studying good books and blogs (e.g. optimist.pw) you can better understand what makes us happy and what does not.
However, we must realize that despite all this knowledge, no one can describe our own individual natures to us. Only we ourselves, based on our own unique experiences, can understand who we are. Therefore, the search must be carried out in two directions at the same time, but still start with the GENERAL recipe for happiness. Then and only then the knowledge of your UNIQUE “I” will become more understandable and will be woven into the general matrix of the process of how to become happy.