Why do people get bored? And in principle, what kind of emotion is it – to be bored? What it means?
The most curious thing is that in many languages there is no absolute analogue for this concept. In some cases the verb “to remember” is used, in others “to be sad”. In the 19th century the verb “to be bored” was often understood as a kind of mental suffering from idleness. To experience boredom means to languish in idleness. It is no coincidence that in those days there was a common phrase: “people who works doesn’t get bored”.
We also rarely use the second meaning of this word (“pain”). It is easier to explain it through a synonym. We don’t use the second meaning of this word very often either. It is easier to explain it through a synonym. To be bored means to be sick, to experience physical and psychological suffering. For example, in the works of some writers of the 18th and 19th centuries one can find expressions where it is said that this or that “hero bored his feet at night”. This means that the pain kept him awake.
But more often we use the verb “to be bored” when we talk about painful experiences associated with the absence of someone or something. It is this aspect that we will examine in a little more detail.
Synonyms and Interpretations
The best way to understand what “bored” means is to consider verbs that are similar in meaning. There are two points to be made in the concept itself:
- There must be an object that evokes some kind of feeling in us;
- We need a word that describes this emotional process.
Who or what can you miss? Let’s list the most common objects:
- Friends, parents, other relatives and loved ones;
- Beloved person;
- Homeland, certain places with which bright memories are associated;
- Activities that, for one reason or another, you can’t do.
What feelings do these objects evoke in humans when we use the term “bored”? Let’s list the main synonyms:
- to be sad;
- to yearn;
- to grieve;
- to sorrow;
- to languish;
- to remember.
We deliberately do not use the word “love,” although in the minds of many it is the main source of what we miss.
Love or emotional addiction?
The most common verbs used in romantic relationships are “to miss” and “to wait”. This is understandable. When lovers break up, all their thoughts are devoted exclusively to the object of passion, i.e. each other.
Even during a fascinating activity or interesting conversation, nothing is able to dislodge the dominance present in the brain. The main desire of a man in love is to be near his loved one again. What does it mean for him to “miss”? Waiting for that moment when it happens, to touch his partner, to hear his voice, to kiss him.
The state of being in love can be described in the following words:
- languishes without affection;
- to be sad;
- resents the fate that does not allow to be near the dear person;
- longs for a new meeting.
Psychologists consider it harmless for a man in love to admit that he misses you. Especially during a long separation. However, this condition, if it becomes compulsive, speaks not about strong feelings towards a specific person, but about emotional attachment and even dependence. It is characterized by the fact that a person loses personal autonomy and begins to suffer in the absence of a significant subject or object (a favorite thing, for example).
Why does emotional addiction arise?
People close to each other are communicating vessels that influence each other. If one person is in a bad mood, the other one becomes sad. If the spouse is worried, the wife’s heart also becomes anxious. However, even relatives living together, can not always be in the same state of mind.
Some are more irritable, some are tired of communication or of relationships in general. These negative manifestations are immediately transmitted to the partner or household members. They begin to exert extra effort to get their loved one out of his or her state, and then they themselves begin to get nervous and snapping.
This stresses a person who feels a great responsibility for what is going on. But he cannot be empathic all the time, entertain his loved ones and give them only positive emotions. And if they begin to suffer, then we are talking about emotional dependence. From which bad for both sides. It is quite possible that a person decides to leave such a relationship, and then the partner will have to be bored alone.
As a rule, the greatest suffering will be experienced by people who are not independent, who need outside control and guidance, who are problematic and socially immature. Those who cannot live without the doping of love and attention. What is a synonym for this phenomenon? To be bored is to be emotionally dependent on other people or objects.
Is it possible to be bored joyfully?
There are situations when we are far away from our usual life. For example, a guy is in the army or a girl has gone to study in another city. Of course, both will miss their relatives, the home environment, their mother’s favorite cutlets, school friends, the dog, etc. And it will be, if I may say so, joyful boredom.
For example, in America it is very common for a guy in the army to constantly think about his mother’s meatballs, and for girls in college to be sad about their dogs, which no one to take out for a walk. In different countries, people put their sacred meaning into the word “bored”. People on business trips in the North miss the warmth of their hearths, people at sea miss land and life on earth, shift workers miss home. Each has its own truth what it means to be bored. And that’s great.
What does it mean to be “bored” in terms of love? It means to fall into an emotional trap that has nothing to do with true love and other such feelings. Realizing this, a person needs to work on developing his or her own personality, becoming more understanding, independent, busy, and interesting to loved ones.