There is so much to do in life, but sometimes we waste our energy on pointless and even harmful activities. Here are three basic things to forget about if you want to live a happy, fulfilling life
1. Think anxiously about the future
There is nothing wrong with thinking about the future. But it must be treated philosophically: There is nothing around us but ourselves and our reactions that we can change and control. We have no idea what the future prepares for us.
People worry about the future most of the time. Although anxieties can be different. Researchers at Harvard found that we experience anxiety 99 percent of the time. And these worries are usual false that only rob us of our strength. 40 percent have to do with anxiety about the future, 30 percent have to do with a very confusing past, and 22 percent are trivial things that come up in everyday life.
These same scientists have calculated that most of the time (up to 94 percent) nothing that we worry about ever happens. That is, by being anxious we are simply wasting our energy and time.
Another interesting observation is that, for the most part, anxiety is related to the past and the future, but not to the present. Does this mean that we don’t know how to enjoy the present moment? Partly yes, and it is precisely because of unreasonable anxiety.
Life is full of ups and downs. There’s no need to feel anxious or worried about what’s in the past or to get worked up about the future. Live for today, enjoy the moment, and then anxiety will fade into the background and then disappear altogether.
2. Being dissatisfied with the current state of affairs
Rarely does success and achievement come quickly; it usually takes months or even years. Such long expectations create doubts about whether we are on the right path. Worse yet, they breed dissatisfaction.
People begin to evaluate their lives and accomplishments not in terms of “what I have achieved,” but in terms of “what I have NOT achieved”. Dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs leads to apathy, disbelief in one’s own strength, and “awakening” negative attitudes toward others.
The more a person complains about life, about work, about colleagues, about the behavior of his partner, about the lack of finances, the more he gets hung up in this negative state. Dissatisfaction with the status quo is emotionally exhausting. Complaints make us more blind to our problems. Instead of taking any action, we blame others, circumstances, and thereby inhibit their own development and movement forward.
If you are dissatisfied with your life, you need to act, not give up and complain. This is a dead-end road! Successful people don’t do that. Why waste energy and time on meaningless complaints when you can sit down and think about how to make the current state of affairs change for the better?
And also successful people first look for the problem in themselves, and then look at others. They are used to taking responsibility for their actions and deeds. Take their example, and then your life will be better.
3. Comparing yourself to others
Humans are social creatures. We are aware of our successes and achievements, just as we are aware of our failures and falls only when we compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, this is not a good habit if the comparison causes you negative emotions. It’s one thing to look at a successful person and take them as a role model. It’s quite another to be angry and envious that he’s living a better life.
Do you know why any comparison of yourself with other people is a bad thing? Because you will never know how the person you think is successful really lives and how he or she feels. After all, behind the picture of a perfect family on Instagram there may be domestic violence, quarrels and scandals, and a toxic atmosphere. And behind the picture of a successful career there may be total humiliation or a state of nervous breakdown.
Remember: when evaluating a person from the outside we cannot assess how he / she feels inside, we cannot understand the real price he / she paid to become what it is today.
And this price can be quite high. It can be undermined health, psyche, sexual harassment, huge debts, unhappy personal life, etc. Are you sure you want to repeat this path?
You should only compare yourself today with yourself yesterday, five years ago, and ten years ago. If you see degradation, you need to do something urgently. And if you see tangible progress, then you already have something to be proud of. Remember that everyone has his own way, his own destiny, so focus on yourself, not on others.