In normal times, we are in contact with household members or friends for a maximum of three hours a day. But during a vacation together, prolonged interaction sometimes leads to serious conflicts. As a result, an unpleasant residue remains after the vacation. We understand how to avoid such consequences.
The Real Story
Two families (one wife and husband and the other wife and husband) were going on vacation. They decided to get to their destination in the car of one of the couples. Everyone could drive, but the owners were careful about their property, so they did not let their friends behind the wheel. The situation became tense because of this.
Then there were problems with nutrition. One family liked a good drink and snacks, while the other did not drink alcohol and stuck to vegetarianism. On the first day of vacation, one woman got sunburned and had a fever, thus ruining the planned excursion. Subsequently it became clear that some people prefer passive recreation, while others prefer active recreation.
How not to spoil a relationship during the holidays / vacations?
Such consequences could have been avoided if you could figure out in advance how each of the travelers imagines vacation, what he means by this word. For some, it is endless parties, discos, dancing until morning, while for others it is passive lying on the beach and sleeping in a hotel room.
Agree with someone with whom you plan to spend a vacation, the following aspects:
- Which vacation your partner / friends represents the ideal?;
- Where exactly to which resort you would like to go?;
- Expectations from the vacation in general?;
- Total budget.
When discussing such issues at a preliminary stage, you can immediately see where your views coincide and where they diverge. Accordingly, many conflicts and points of contention can be prevented by compromise solutions.
Keep in mind that common interests and similar rhythms of life also play a significant role in choosing a travel companion, because nothing is so annoying as having a “lark”, if you are a night “owl”, or a lover of walking around on excursions at a time when you came to rest easy and lie on the beach.
From this follows another important rule:
Choose for vacation someone who really like and accept your interests, and who have views on the vacation coincides with yours.
Otherwise you will get tired faster from the rest than from everyday work. And if the choice of travel companions is already made, try to adhere to the following rules to make life easier for yourself and for them:
- Don’t bring up controversial topics. First and foremost of these are politics and religion. Discussing such topics can turn into a scandal, especially if you know for sure that your parents or friends do not share your beliefs. So, think about whether it is worth spoiling your and their holidays with such conversations;
- Consider the difference in habits. Some go to bed early and don’t like to eat breakfast, others need a little more time for sightseeing, others want to walk around all night. We really are different, and it is worth giving people on vacation the opportunity to do what they are used to, and also ask them to tolerate your habits;
- Don’t drag unresolved problems and grievances on vacation. Going on vacation, we often pack in the suitcase not only resort clothes and cosmetics, but also all the things that annoy us in our partner, friends and parents. And then there is a reasonable question: if there are so many contradictions in the relationship, why not take a break from them during the vacation? It is important to understand that, proposing a joint vacation, you need to be mentally prepared to let go of old grudges, at least for a while, otherwise it will be spoiled by endless clarifications of the relationship;
- Resolve issues collegially. The perfect vacation is when the tastes and passions of all members of the company are the same. You go on excursions together and swim in the sea, go to a restaurant in the evening, ride bikes in the neighborhood and enjoy life. The reality is different from the ideal, so all proposals should be discussed beforehand. At the same time, it is better to initially agree that everyone has the right to spend time alone, if he strongly disagrees with the majority;
- Do what you like, but do not forbid it to do other. There is nothing more unfortunate on vacation than to go along with friends and relatives, or to force someone to meet your needs. So don’t tie your partner/friend/parent to you 24/7. Better try to have fun in different ways: together and separately, if you can’t agree and tastes don’t coincide.
How to avoid conflict on vacation?
If a quarrel or dispute arises on vacation that risks serious conflict, then use the practice of joining in the conversation. This implies that you engage the person to find a compromise together. Then he will perceive you not as an opponent, but as an ally.
The second point: never use the words “Stop”, “Calm down”, “Shut Up!” and other synonyms. This words are that only adds fuel to the fire and incites conflict.
Don’t forget to learn more about the culture of the country to which you are going, so as not to spoil your vacation by ignorance of local traditions and behavior unacceptable to the locals. After all, you’re the one visiting someone, so you need to follow the rules already established.
How not to spoil a vacation with children?
To ensure that children do not become a nuisance on your vacation experts advise to adhere to these 3 rules:
- Choose child-friendly hotels for vacations. Such hotels always have attractions for children (playgrounds, water parks, etc.). In addition, in the rooms you can ask for an extra crib, and in the restaurant will definitely find something to feed a child, a high chair or even a special children’s area with cartoons. Many hotels are free to take an extra potty, high chair, stroller. And sometimes there is even a free babysitter on the beaches;
- Choose simple clothes. We understand that you would like to show off your beautiful outfits in front of the campers, but “kids are the kids”. And some of your outfits can be inadvertently ruined. That’s why beautiful voluminous dresses and white shirts are better left at home. They may not be very comfortable to play with children and take up a lot of space in the suitcase. It is much more effective to take with you non-marking casual clothes;
- Provide entertainment for children in advance. By the time you get to the hotel, your child may start to be cranky. This can happen at the airport, on the plane, or on the bus. That’s why if you don’t want to spoil your vacation mood you should keep your child occupied for this time. The easiest solution is to take a tablet with you, load it with a lot of cartoons and take a couple of spare batteries. But you can do something else. For example: take small and cheap toys appropriate to the age of the child. Also on the road will help entrain your child game books for their age, notebooks with assignments and stickers, puzzles with frames, coloring books with pencils or felt-tip pens. To keep a child engaged for a long time, it is desirable to prepare new toys and coloring books.
A joint vacation with other people is not only a great way to get to know our loved ones and friends better, but also a kind of test of relationships for strength: in ordinary life, we may not notice any nuances in communication or close our eyes to something, but on vacation, when we are relaxed, any disagreements become more obvious, and it becomes really difficult to put up with something.
Therefore, going on a journey with someone, you need to think carefully and weigh all the pros and cons, but do not forget the simple truth: every person we meet on the road of life, is in some way our reflection. And so the arisen disagreement is a possible reason to look at ourselves from an unusual side and to discover in ourselves the qualities that we previously did not notice.